how to deal with a bad day.

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Today was a bad day.

I’m not going to sugar coat or add a filter here. Today just…sucked. It actually had nothing to do with my circumstances (nothing “happened”), I was just in one of those moods where I felt bleh. Unmotivated, frustrated, questioning all of my life’s decisions…

Yeah. One of those days.

Don’t worry. My pity party is over, so I won’t be letting it out on you. Instead, I used this bad day to learn more about myself and how to make bad days less bad, and hopefully can pass a little something positive out of it along to you.

1. Realize (and accept) that you’re JUST having a bad day.
Seems obvious enough, right? Well, I don’t know about you, but I can far too easily NOT realize this, and that can often make a day go from bad to worse. The simple realization and admission that it’s a bad DAY, not a bad LIFE can help shift your perspective to get through the day. Remind yourself that it’s only 24 hours (or less). You can get through it. You WILL get through it.

2. Don’t let a bad day turn into a bad week.
This is very much related to #1. Just keep reminding yourself that the way you’re feeling isn’t going to last forever. It most likely isn’t even going to last until tomorrow. Focus on the day at hand - getting over it and getting through it - and do whatever it takes to keep it from rolling over into tomorrow.

3. Meditate - don’t medicate.
When you’re having a bad day or in a bad mood, it’s natural to want to numb those feelings or distract yourself with self-medication. Things like eating, drinking, shopping, etc. Most of the time you’ll probably regret doing any of those things to try to make yourself feel better. Those are just bandaids. Instead, it’s important to address the underlying reason(s) you might be having a bad day. If you have the time - even if it’s just 5 minutes - go somewhere alone to sit quietly and meditate. For me that looks like prayer and journaling. For you it might be listening to music, deep breathing, or going for a walk.

4. Write down the things you’re thankful for.
This is a habit that is always beneficial to have, but it’s especially important on the bad days and can really help put things into perspective.

5. Sweat it out and/or get outside.
Personally, exercise and just getting outside are two things that automatically alleviate stress + sadness. There’s just something about sweat and fresh air (especially together) that can totally re-set everything.

6. Try to put off making decisions, if possible.
This is something I’ve definitely learned the hard way, and also why it’s so important to first recognize that you’re having a bad day. When I’m not myself, I tend to make rash decisions that seem like great ideas, only to regret it the following day/week. A bad day or being in a bad mood is NOT the time to quit your job, bring up important conversations, make big purchases, etc. Trust me on that one 😉

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Hope that wasn’t too much of a debbie-downer post, ha! I just thought it might be of help to some of you who might be going through a bad day/rough week <3

How do you deal with bad days? Anything to add?

what being a girl boss means to me {with JCPenney} + giveaway.

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If you’ve done just about any internet or social media browsing, you’ve probably come across the term or hashtag #GirlBoss. It’s a term that has been used quite frequently over the past few years as a way to describe a girl who is confident, strong, responsible, and…well, a boss. The term originated from Sophia Amoruso’s book “Girlboss,” which is full of tips to help women be successful in the workplace and beyond.

Lately I’ve been thinking about what it means to me to be a Girl Boss. To me, a Girl Boss is…

Confident, but she is also humble.
She runs the show in certain areas, but she also is always looking for opportunities to help others.
She is strong but not afraid to admit areas that she might be weak at or need help with.
She makes others feel comfortable when they’re around her.
She is a boss, but she is not bossy.

EMPOWER WOMEN

Another characteristic of a Girl Boss is that most of the time, you know she’s a Girl Boss just by looking at her; the confidence she holds when she walks into a room, combined with her own unique, effortless, personal style. I’m lucky that I don’t just know a few Girl Bosses - I’m surrounded by them. Most of the women in my life are the women I described above, and I know I’m blessed to have that “band of sisters” to do life with.

I also must say that I come across new Girl Bosses all the time! I don’t think it’s surprising that there’s a heck of a lot of them here in New York City. I love the opportunity to meet and learn from new women whether it’s through work, at fitness classes, social gatherings, etc. So when JCPenney approached me to share my take on women who make my community come alive - this goes out to them…to all the Girl Bosses out there.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve really come into my own personal style - what makes me feel the most confident, beautiful, and comfortable in my own skin. So a few weeks ago I was shopping in JCPenney and trying on some different outfits for an upcoming event here in New York, and I immediately knew that this was the look I was going for.

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JCP5

blouse: Worthington short sleeve color block blouse
shorts: a.n.a® Soft Beach Shorts
shoes: a.n.a® Isha Peep-Toe High Heel Mule

jcp4 JCP shoes

When I dress in my own personal style - not dependent on trends or what anyone else says is fashionable - I feel empowered to bring out my inner Girl Boss, and then in turn I feel fired up to empower others as well. And this look just does that. JCP Gracie Gordon **********

Check out the JCP Fall Lookbook at jcplookbook.com Find JCP on: Facebook / Twitter / Pinterest / Instagram / YouTube / Google+ / We Heart It / Polyvore

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What makes you feel like a Girl Boss? Tell me in the comments for a chance to win a $100 JCPenney gift card.
Entry Instructions:

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This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older (or nineteen (19) years of age or older in Alabama and Nebraska). Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The notification email will come directly from BlogHer via the sweeps@blogher email address. You will have 2 business days to respond; otherwise a new winner will be selected.

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This sweepstakes runs from 9/16/2015 – 10/16/2015
Be sure to visit JCPenney’s brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ posts!

life lately.

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Hey friends! It’s been a while, huh?

I hate to be that blogger that’s always like OMG sorry I went so MIA, but…seriously - sorry 😉 I knew the past few weeks were going to be a bit crazy for me, but I didn’t anticipate that I wouldn’t be able to squeeze blog posts in.

Since my last life update post from my (second) weekend in Montauk, I’ve:

* spent a week at my family’s shore house in South NJ
* had my cousin Liz’s bachelorette weekend
* spent about a week in Cali! I stayed in Venice, Santa Barbara, and Santa Monica
* been in Liz’s wedding this past weekend

Throw in my previous 2 trips to Montauk and Vegas back in June and…well, let’s just say it’s been quite the busy summer for me (but a seriously fun one - I definitely cannot complain!).

As much as I’m sad to see summer go, I’m excited to get back into my normal routine. And, let’s be real, I’m totally one of those girls who freaks out over all things fall and pumpkin and sweaters OH MY. Owning it.

I’m also entering into a new season where there may be some “rearranging” going on. If you couldn’t tell, I’m one of those people that always has about 49582 going on at once (and by 49582 I mean being the social media manager for 6 different brands, Speakable, GML, church volunteering, leading a small group, and 2 new projects I’ve been working on over the summer), and sometimes it can be pretty overwhelming. I know it’s my own fault and one of my biggest weaknesses. I often wonder if I’d be much more successful (and more content) if I focused on fewer things - and I always SAY I will do that - yet I somehow end up with more on my plate.

Like I said, I know I bring a lot of it upon myself, and being self-employed in New York City isn’t exactly the easiest feat in the world, so I’m trying to go easy on myself. But that’s kind of where I’m at right now + what I hope to work on/manage better as we go into fall.

Ok ok, venting over 😉

I must say I’m really excited to see what’s in store for the rest of the year. I’m pretty stoked about those 2 new projects I mentioned (which unfortunately I have to keep under wraps for now) + some fun newness for Speakable! I’ll be sure to share everything here first, of course.

Lastly, thank you all so much for your kind comments and emails over the past few weeks! I always love hearing from you - questions, feedback, etc. - and honestly some of your recent comments are what gave me the motivation to put this post together just now 🙂 You’re all the best, seriously.

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What’s new with you?? What are some of your goals for the new season?

 

7 tips for making the ultimate to-do list.

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If I could share my number one piece of advice when it comes to being productive, it would be making a to-do list. I’m actually surprised I haven’t written a blog post on this yet!

Having a to-do list isn’t revolutionary by any means. I’m pretty sure most people have a running to-do list in some shape or form. But for me…it’s a must. A lifesaver. An absolute necessity.

Here’s the thing about having a (well done) to-do list - it doesn’t just help you to be more productive, but it actually FREES you from a lot of stress.

I don’t know about you, but I can have a million and one tasks/responsibilities to do at any given time, and to say it’s overwhelming to think about them all at once is an understatement. But when you have a to-do list that is properly organized (by priority, time, ease, etc.) it makes all the difference in the world and actually removes so much anxiety.

Here are a few of my tips for keeping a to-do list that have literally changed my life.

Tips For Making The Ultimate To-Do List | GirlMeetsLife.com

Pick 3-5 of your TOP things to accomplish per day.

This. Is. CRUCIAL. It goes back to what I was saying about having your list help lessen stress. If you only have a select number of things that you have to accomplish on any given day, it makes them much more easy to focus on and complete. For me, my top 3-5 things are typically work-related, because 99% of the time that is my highest priority.

^ Do those things first.

You can have other tasks on your to-do list for any given day, but they should be smaller, easier tasks. For example, my 3-5 tops tasks are usually work projects, and then my remaining tasks are things like laundry, errands, etc. But once the “hard” stuff is out of the way, it’s like it’s all downhill from there.

Assign certain categories to each day.

So I must admit that this isn’t something I do ALL the time, but it can definitely be extremely helpful. A friends recently told me about this tip and I thought it was genius. The idea is to divide days up into certain task categories. So for example could have something like “Administrative Monday” for paying bills, planning appointments, and so on. And other days focused on things like marketing, new projects, research, etc.

This is very dependent on your job, of course, and probably more suitable if you create your own schedule. But it’s an interesting concept that I think could be tweaked no matter what your role is.

Keep your to-do list in the notes on your phone, iPad, or computer.

There are so many fancy-pants apps and journals for to-do lists, but I’m personally a fan of keeping it pretty simple in the notes on my iPad. The reason I like this is because I add to and edit my list often (see below), and this makes it way easier to do so. It’s simple, straightforward, and efficient. I also divide it up by day, so my list usually looks like this:

MONDAY
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah

TUESDAY
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah

Write down even the smallest of tasks.

If you saw some of the things I have on my list, you might think I’m a crazy person (and probably wouldn’t understand half of it, to be honest). That’s because I add every single little thing I could possibly think of. WHY? Because the more tasks you can get on that list, the less they’re swirling around in your head taking up your precious time and thoughts. Even if it’s something you have to do in a few days or even a few weeks, once it’s on the list you just don’t have to think about it again until it’s time to actually do it.

Edit your list frequently.

This is why I find it so easy to keep my to-do list in my digital notes. Depending on how my day is going (because we all know that days have so many twists and turns), I edit my tasks often. Sometimes I get more done in a day than I thought. Sometimes I have to push tasks to the following day. But instead of giving up on the list all together (which is something I think a lot of people end up doing), I just keep editing it. And you know what? Eventually everything still always gets done.

Want to take it to the next level? Look into Podio.

I’ve tried a handful of different workspaces over the years, and hands down Podio is my absolute favorite. I don’t know if I’d recommend it so much for personal use (we use it to manage NYC Collective) or just for a to-do list, but if you are in search of a more extensive work space I could not recommend it more highly.

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Do you regularly keep a to-do list? What’s your best advice/method?

a perfect girls’ day out in NYC | Everybody Rise event + book giveaway.

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Even after living in NYC for 5 years, those days still come along that feel like a New York fairytale. They’re the days that I literally dreamed of as a little girl. And a few weeks ago, I got to experience one of those days while celebrating the release of the new novel Everybody Rise by Stephanie Clifford.

The day started when I headed uptown to DryBar in the Le Parker Meridien. I had heard rave reviews about DryBar before but had yet to try it myself, so I was excited for the experience. A handful of other bloggers (including Jessi, yay!) and I were greeted with cookies, coffee and mimosas, followed by being pampered with a great hair wash and blowout.

DryBar

I loved DryBar and would definitely recommend it, especially before a special event or night out.

After DryBar we all headed around the corner to The Plaza Hotel. Yes…THEE Plaza Hotel.

I had only been to The Plaza twice before but only for their spa, so I was pretty thrilled when I found out we’d be doing the classic tea/lunch there.

The Plaza NYC

The Plaza NYC

It was pretty much a girly girl’s (AKA me) dream. Adorable tea sandwiches, mini desserts, and of course delicious tea.

The Plaza NYC

The Plaza NYC

The Plaza NYC

We were joined by author Stephanie Clifford, and it was such a pleasure to get the opportunity to talk to her about the new book. It was casual and relaxed, and she was so easygoing and fun to talk to. We asked her more questions about the book (which we had all previously read) as well as her inspiration, her background (as a NY Times reporter!), etc.

The Plaza NYC / Everybody Rise review

To give you a brief idea of the story, here’s a synopsis in author Stephanie Clifford’s own words from our lunch.

Everybody Rise is a book about fitting in and figuring out who you are…it follows a 26-year-old named Evelyn. She’s from Maryland, she moves to New York and is trying to find her place here. She ends up thinking she’s found it when she falls in with this old, money-set driven job. In order to fit in there, she begins lying-she changes the way she dresses, she changes the makeup she wears, she changes her hair. The lies quickly get bigger and bigger until she has to reckon with the sort of made-up life she’s come up with.

It was important to me have a heroine who wasn’t redeemed or rescued by a man. She gets herself into a ton of trouble, and she’s the one who has to scrape herself out of it in the end. It’s also a story of mothers and daughters. It’s sort of fitting with having tea at the plaza because one of my favorite scenes in the book is Evelyn at age 10 visiting New York with her mom for the first time. Her mom is there to revisit her own glory days, and at tea Evelyn can’t do anything right. Her mom is like, “No. No. No. No lemon in there. Cream in there. Don’t hold it like that, Evelyn.” That sort of anxiousness in wanting to please her mom builds a lot of what happens later on, 16 years later when she’s a young woman in New York. She’s still trying to gain acceptance, still trying to be seen because she was never quite seen by her mom.

Everybody Rise

I must admit that I’m typically not the biggest fan of fiction novels. But I’ve got to say that I seriously loved Everybody Rise. It was a fun summer read, which was much-needed since I’ve been traveling so much over the past few months. I loved the storyline, especially since I could relate to the whole “newbie in NYC” aspect of it.

If you’re looking for a new read, you should definitely check it out. You can also enter to win a copy of Everybody Rise of your own by leaving a comment below! Tell me the best book you’ve read lately. I’ll choose a winner on Monday 8/31 at 5pm EST and contact them directly. Open to U.S. residents only, ages 18+.

Good luck! 🙂

*** Congrats Janel - you’re the winner! I just emailed you for your mailing address 🙂 ***

you are ready.

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You are ready. You are ready. You are ready.

I felt like someone was supposed to hear (er, read) that today. I know I was.

Somehow we always find ourselves believing these lies that we have to wait until “x, y, or z” happen to pursue the things we want in life. But it doesn’t work that way.

You’re not going to be ready when you lose 10 pounds.
…when you get the raise.
…when you can break that habit.
…when someone else tells you you’re ready.
…or whatever that thing in your life that is holding you back happens.

Here’s the thing - it most likely will happen. But I can’t help but think that breaking through those barriers we put up for ourselves and moving forward anyway…that’s actually what propels those things into finally falling into place…

 

What dream/goal have you been holding yourself back from? What small thing can you do today to move in the right direction?