Home. It’s one of those words that no matter how you define it, it generally evokes a positive connotation.
My definition of home has changed a lot recently. In fact, I’m coming to realize that home isn’t always necessarily a good thing.
If I’m being completely honest with myself, it was my love for home that caused me to shut myself out from numerous opportunities in life. I would use home as an excuse to yield to my fears, and now here I am at 24 years old lacking some key experiences.
Travelling more.
Cultivating more relationships.
Learning more about my passions and abilities.
Experience is a crucial factor in what makes a person who they are…and who they are not…and leaving our comfort zone is what usually yields the most meaningful experiences.
I’m not saying it’s bad to be a home-body. Heck, I’m curled up in the B-low as I type. But, I wonder, if I have an eternity awaiting in a Heavenly home, why do I try so hard to set up camp here?
Being grounded in a particular location and community is good. It’s healthy. It’s where growth can take place.
But playing it too safe - missing opportunities due to fearing the unknown or being set in one’s ways – it’s a surefire way to stop that growth from taking place.
So step out! Home will always be there, but those opportunities and relationships and experiences to be had…they might not be.
How do you define home?
Is it a place? A group of people? A mindset?
my home is a mindset
i can always relate to you. and you always open my eyes!
i, too, am a homebody and have missed out on opportunities. next year will be the first year of me venturing out and i’m a nervous wreck.
i define home as where i’m comfortable. a mindset.
If it makes you feel any better, the lack of home can also be used a bad thing. I haven’t had a “home” for my entire adult life. I changed houses, cities, continents, friends, relationships. You can miss opportunities this way too… I still kind of like it, but I see how it can be turned into a bad thing. I hope I’ll find a home when I grow up. I hope it’s like the other 4 letter word that you just know it when you see it.
So, to make my longest comment short, I would say that home is a feeling to me.
Yes Melie, that’s another important way to look at the concept of home for sure. I have been very blessed to be able to feel “at home” even in the midst of moving around over the past 5+ years. I guess in that sense my definition of home has changed from a location to the community/people I’m surrounded by, which I think is so very crucial when we find ourselves moving around a lot! Thanks for this perspective
Mary Kate says
To me, home is my husband’s voice when he is traveling and my parent’s home while he is gone.
I moved away from my hometown for a time and recently came back because I realized how much I loved the area, the community, the way of life. I felt guilt for it for a long time because I wasn’t living a wholly adventurous life. But, this is where the Lord led me and I will make the most of my time here.
PS love your blog and you approach to life!
Mary Kate, the first part of your comment kinda sorta gave me chills
It sounds like you know exactly what home means to you have have followed the Lord’s lead. So awesome and inspiring
Take care, and thank you for the encouraging words! xoxo G
I think home is a mindset. I have many homes.. They are the people I feel most comfortable with. My boyfriend, my parents, my brother. Home can even be when I am by myself.. stuck in traffic..as long as I am at peace in my mind.
I can seriously relate to this post-I feel like sometimes I don’t take every opportunity handed to me because of the comfort of home, the easiness of it all. I am really trying to break out of this cycle! Good luck girl, share your tips!
Great post - I too am a homebody and I definitely love to sit at home and relax. I’ve been “getting out” more lately though - it’s been nice!
Loved your post….I can definitely relate to the whole missing out on opportunities because of staying in your comfort zone.
Oh Gracie, I can relate to this post. Living at home away from college friends and without a boyfriend makes it especially easy to fall into the trap of hiding at home. But you’re right-home will always be there! I’m making plans to move out in the next few months and couldn’t be happier.
Until then, weekend trips to visit friends and getting back in touch with high school classmates who live around here all work to bust me out of the comfort zone. Props to you for breaking free and moving to the city!
Ann @ Day By Day says
Love this. I too am a homebody and take any chance I can to spend a weekend at home even though I’ll be finished with college soon enough. I love how you stated that- you know your eternal home is in heaven with Jesus, so why try to set up camp here? So. true.
I can definitely be a homebody, I think because home wasn’t ever a a particularly stable thing to me. However, home is where *I* am because I don’t live in the same city as my family (or even on the same coast as my immediate fam!), so I’m having to make my own traditions and routines.
Amanda, I’m just now beginning to learn how to make my *own* home too, and it’s definitely been a strange but good experience. It has really forced me to spend more time with God - especially when I feel alone in my own home - and I’ve learned so much over the past few months because of it. Thanks for the thoughtful comment
xo
after i moved across the country last august, home has been defined by the four walls that i made MINE. i’m thankful for where i grew up and i love my family where they live, but this is the first permanent home i’ve had in ten years and i love it
I can relate to this so much. I have yet to leave home (lived at home through university since I went to one right down the road) and as much as I love it in some ways, my comfort with it has definitely been a detriment in so many ways. I know I’ve missed out on a lot of key experiences and opportunities for growth so far, and even though I know I’m still young and there are still many chances out there to make chance and growth happen, it’s a lot harder starting out at this stage, and not even really knowing where to begin at that. It’s very scary thinking about pushing outside of that home comfort when you’ve hardly ever had to do it. And I know now more than ever that I really need to. I’ve been feeling it more than ever. Like I just need to get away, get out of the city, do something completely different. But it’s scary and it’s not easy. I’m really hoping I can figure out where and when and how to step out into the real world asap. Great timing with this post!
Hey Kristie, it’s never too late! This time last year I had a slight “breakdown” of sorts because of this particular struggle. I didn’t know where to begin! But after spending time in prayer and reflection I got to the point where God showed me I just had to DO something, you know?? It was scary and definitely not an easy transition, but the journey has been so worth it. I don’t think people would even believe how uneventful and even secluded my life was for about 6 months after graduating college….I kind of can’t even fathom myself that I ended up in the one of the busiest places in the world (haha!). My point is that if there was hope for me, there’s hope for anyone!! Especially you. So keep your head up, keep moving forward, and get excited for the future!
xoxo G
I, too, still live at home (with my parents). So for me, home has always been where my family is. This is good, but it also makes me scared to leave. I’m so dependent on my parents, and like having the comfort of my sisters close by. As silly as it might sound, leaving home is going to be a big step for me. I just finished my last year of school, and I know a lot of changes will be occurring in my life (finding a full-time job, etc.). I think this is just a weird age, a “growing up” age…but I’m glad others can relate!
becky @ my life be like says
there is a beautiful darrell evans worship song that has these lyrics, “Father, my home is you.” that is home to me
To me, it has definitely become a state of mind. College can be my home, but so can home home too. It is where I am happy and comfortable.
this is SO TOUGH because while ive lived in london for about 14 years… im from California and I feel SUCH a connection to the US not the UK even though I dont rmbr living there because I was so young…. I think now.. home is my family, but when I go off to college Im not sure whether london will be considered my home or not! I have to see what happens when I leave!
Home is where the heart is :)! Ha ok that was super cheesy! Home is where my family is!
Wow I can relate to this so much! For me, home is where my parents are. So even though I have my own apartment where I go to school, I still always come home for the 4 months of summer. I just can’t seem to leave my comfort zone of being at home! It’s hard to accept that eventually (probably next summer, even), I need to grow up and stop coming home for the summer.
Jamie says
This post came at the perfect time for me! I’m actually moving from NJ to FL next week with my fiance. We’re up and leaving to be teachers in FL…I’m 23 and lived in the same town all my life but I’m so ready for a change! I think home is a place but also a mindset. It’s what you make of it. FL might not feel like at home at first but you make it home
Good Luck in NY!
Samantha says
Being away at school I changed ‘homes’ often and rarely have time to go back to my actual hometown. So, for me home is where the people I love, my boyfriend, friends, and family, happen to be on that given day! It’s more of a feeling I get around the people I love that love me back then a physical place.
Samantha says
Being away at school I change ‘homes’ often and rarely have time to go back to my actual hometown. So, for me home is where the people I love, my boyfriend, friends, and family, happen to be on that given day! It’s more of a feeling I get around the people I love that love me back then a physical place.
Loev this post! I find myself being the opposite of you. I’ve spent the last few years being somewhat nomadic and now I’m trying to settle and set down some roots. I think to me home is people — family, friends, those people who have been there for me and will continue to be there for me. But I am learning to enjoy having a place that I can call mine. PS- I’m a newish follower and I love your blog!
Thanks so much, Maura!
I definitely think I’m going to want to break free of my current nomadic/”crazy” lifestyle sooner or later! I think the important thing is to know that we put ourselves out there to an extent and “lived life,” you know?!
Tomissa says
I’ve recently had to do that whole “make home where you are” thing by moving to Madison, WI. It’s tough, but it makes you a stronger person and shows you how much you can grow and accomplish.
Sometimes I remind myself that God made me this strong for a reason, so I just better hunker down and show everyone how strong I truly am.
Phew. The question of home is something I’ve been wrestling with for the past couple of months. Right now I’m in the summer between my junior and senior years of college. Up until about last October, home was always the house I grew up in. The lines became a little blurred when I (finally) started to feel completely comfortable at my college (only took two and a quarter years, nbd…haha). Then I lived in Chicago last semester and that REALLY messed me up. The times I left Chicago to “go home,” I always felt like I was leaving home rather than coming home. Chicago felt like home almost instantly to me, and trying to define “home” became a pretty huge issue for me.
I think the definition of “home” revolves around where you feel like you are your most authentic self. For a long time, I felt like I could be the real Bethany around my family more than around anyone else. In Chicago, I felt more like the real Bethany around one of my roommates than I ever felt around previous roommates at my college. I feel at home when I can fully be me and not, for any reason, feel a need to suppress part of who I am.
“I think the definition of “home” revolves around where you feel like you are your most authentic self.”
WOW. So perfectly said, girl….
For the longest time I thought “home” meant where you go everynight after work, school ect. But now I know that home to me is wherever my family, girlfriends, and boyfriend is. It is not a concrete place but a place wherever they may be!