adventures in tinder.

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A couple of months ago I posted about the dating app revolution that is Tinder. Well, a few days after that, I started using Tinder for myself. You know, for research purposes ;)

Honestly, I was really wary at first. I didn’t think Tinder was “my kind of thing” (which, I was right about). But after that original post I got a ton of readers asking me to review it. And I reminded myself that it is just an app, after all.

I stopped using Tinder a couple of weeks ago for reasons I’ll explain in a bit, but it was definitely an interesting experience that I’m excited to share about.

Here are the pros and cons I learned from using Tinder.

tinder

the pros of Tinder.

1. it builds confidence.
I get asked out here and there in “real life”,” but it’s quite the confidence booster to see that guys I found really attractive thought that I was as well.

2. it greatly opens possibly.
This one is pretty obvious – on Tinder you become open to meeting hundreds or thousands of people that you might not otherwise. I’ve heard of many people meeting their boyfriend/girlfriend on Tinder so…who knows!

3. it’s free, uncomplicated, and can be fun.
Tinder doesn’t have the commitment level of online dating, which might appeal to a lot of people who want to meet new singles without spending money or creating a full profile. Not to mention it’s simple, and can just be plain fun.

4. it’s (oddly) like meeting people in real life.
This is something my friend mentioned before that I did find to be true.

5. it’s a learning experience.
I’m a big believer that being self aware is really important when it comes to dating and being in a relationship. Using Tinder helped me realize more about what I like, need, and deserve when it comes to dating.

tinder_match

the cons of Tinder.

1. it seemed like a lot of people view it as a game, or just a means to hook up.
This was the main issue for me. I’m definitely not saying that all guys view Tinder this way, but most of the guys I chatted with…well, it ended pretty quickly when I could tell we didn’t have the same intentions. I definitely chatted with some decent guys too, but I guess got sick of “weeding through” the others (then again, I suppose that’s life in general when it comes to dating).

2. you don’t always know what you’re going to get.
This is something I knew going into using Tinder, and it can definitely be fun to meet someone for the first time without knowing much about them. But even though I saw pictures and chatted with guys before going out with them, it’s still essentially a blind date. I much prefer having met someone first to gauge if there’s at least a bit of a connection before going on a date.

3. I wasn’t coming across my “type” of guy.
The reason I put “type” in quotation marks is because the older I get and the more I date, the more I realize that I actually *don’t* have a type. However, for me it’s important to date a guy that’s a) a Christian and b) looking for more than just a hookup. I’m *not* saying that those guys can’t be or aren’t on Tinder, but I didn’t meet any in the 2-3 months I was on there.

tinderlogo

So as you can see, I actually came up with more pros than cons with it comes to Tinder. However, with where I’m at in life right now, the cons (especially #1 and #3) are “bigger” enough than the pros that I’ve stopped using Tinder. So while I wouldn’t say Tinder is terrible, I’m personally going to keep at it the old fashioned way.

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Have you tried Tinder? Which of these do you agree/disagree with most?

do you tinder?

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I don’t know about where you’re from, but in New York there’s a dating app that seems to be changing the way New Yorkers meet each other.

I have a bunch of friends who are on Tinder, and they seem to like it a lot. It’s an app that links to your Facebook account (but that remains private on the FB end), and you basically browse through other singles in your area. You can either “like” or “pass” on each person, and if they have “liked” you as well, Tinder matches the two of you up for further conversation.

One of my friends in particular has tried a handful of other dating sites like EHarmony, Ok Cupid, and Match.com, and she says that the Tinder app has actually gotten her better dates. She’s currently about to go on date #3 with a guy she considers boyfriend material.

As someone who hasn’t tried Tinder (or any dating website/apps), I was interested in learning more. So I started grilling my friend, and here’s what I found.

The number one thing she said she likes about Tinder is that it’s the most close to meeting someone for the first time in real life – it’s back to the basics of attraction – whereas other dating websites tend to share more personal information.

Some other upsides of Tinder:

* you know the other person is attracted to you too (without them knowing you’ve “liked” them)
* you can see what mutual friends/interests you have
* it’s easy to use and not complicated (no profiles to fill out, etc.)
* it’s free
* if you don’t “like” someone, they cannot contact you

Some of the downsides of Tinder:

* you’ll most likely see people you know on there (if that bothers you…I say who cares?)
* you might have to click a lot of “passes” before you find a “like”
* there’s always the risk of creepy people, and I’ve heard of a few not-so-great instances
* it’s based on very little information about the other person
* some people view it as more of a game

What do you think about Tinder? I’m still pretty traditional when it comes to dating, but the concept of Tinder is pretty interesting to me. I also like how it’s become mainstream and…well, normal. So who knows…maybe I’ll see what I think about it myself ;)

Do you know of anyone who met in Tinder? What about other dating websites/apps?