stories of strength: my mom.

22 October, 2014 by Gracie 5 Comments

This is obviously a story extremely close to my heart – my mom’s. It’s strange because reading this made me realize how numb I made myself when all of this was going on – there are so many things I almost didn’t allow myself to remember, if that makes sense. Clearly a defense mechanism. As scary as this time was, I never want to forget it – how strong my mom is, and how thankful I am for her to be in full remission! Momma G – take it away

With two sisters who had breast cancer, I figured I was the sibling who skated it, right? I would be the sister who beat the odds. That’s the way I looked at it. Thankfully, my older sister, Marion (who I watched courageously stare breast cancer down) was quite belligerent about reminding me that I should be seeing a breast specialist annually from an early age (thanks, Sis ;). So, I was obedient, got my mammogram, and saw Dr. Gordon Schwartz at Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia every year like clockwork. It was an uncomfortable chore. The mammogram was not something to look forward to (for obvious reasons). The one hour trip in bumper to bumper traffic into the city was also something I had to force myself to do. But, it was there on my maintenance list along with the hairdresser, dental hygiene, etc.

So, in April 2007 ( you always remember the time and place you got “the call”), I had no clue who the unknown caller could possibly be. I had gone for years getting my mammogram, where they said “if there’s a problem, Dr Schwartz will call you,” and never received a call. Anyway, when I answered, It was Dr. Schwartz. It was sort of surreal….being told that you have cancer. I was definitely one of those people who thinks “it can never happen to me.” It just wasn’t registering.

The doctor went on to instruct me on contacting the office for further biopsy. I was out shopping with Gracie at the time. And I remember, I just kept shopping. Weird, huh?! I didn’t have fear at the time, I just felt numb.

What sort of thoughts went through my head: could time be limited now with the family that I love? Every word they said, every cute little mannerism, all of a sudden became so precious to me. All of the silly little things that used to annoy me became very unimportant. Most of all, it struck me that I really DID believe in God, and salvation through His Son, Jesus; that He really IS in control of all things; Heaven IS real, life is everlasting for me. I guess sometimes it takes something shocking to have a full realization of your time on this Earth, and if your beliefs run deep. In any event, all of those things brought me tremendous comfort and peace, not knowing what the outcome might be.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, within weeks I was diagnosed with basal cell carcinoma on my face. This required a surgery that left 18 stitches on my cheek. That month, I also slipped on the ice rushing out to a doctors appointment and fracturing my ankle! Talk about bad timing.

The rest is a blur, and flew by. The biopsy, the surgeries…all done while on crutches I was a mess. Thank you to my dear husband and my Gracie (who lived at home at the time), who took such wonderful care of me. And, my Katie, who no longer lived at home, but always the source of encouragement. I love them soooo much!!!

After the worst was over, I recall getting into my car, going to my appointment with the oncologist to discuss my follow up care. I had my records in hand, including a little package with a my name on it, and a slide container, with the cancerous tumor tissue in it (yes, they keep that. Ha!). I remember being alone, but speaking to it and saying “I’m so glad that now you are in that little vial, and not in me!” Thank You, Lord!

Because of my darling sister, Marion, my seriously amazing AND SUPERIOR Dr. Schwartz, and by God’s grace, early detection allowed me to qualify for a partial mastectomy. And, as of today, I am 7 years cancer free.

In summary….I can’t say this enough…EARLY DETECTION!!!!!!

-NEVER miss your mammogram.
-ALWAYS self examine.
-ENCOURAGE and remind other women to be diligent.
-If you have a family history of breast cancer, make an appointment with a Breast Specialist TODAY!!!!!

Lastly, don’t wait for life to throw you a curve ball to appreciate your loved ones, count every moment as precious, and a TRUE gift from God.

Lots of love and God bless you all!

**********

Thanks for all of your support so far this month for the Speakable Strength Collection, with 15% of each purchase being donated to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation!

stories of strength: amy.

15 October, 2014 by Gracie 2 Comments

This Story Of Strength is from my blog friend Alyssa’s sister, Amy. Alyssa previously shared some of her sister’s story here, but I wanted to catch up learn more about her journey and where she’s at today.

I am a very spiritual person, and I have to tell you that I think God has given me this opportunity to share with you to remind me of how very blessed I am. Let me explain…

I am a 5th grade teacher at an elementary school. I also serve on the PTO. A fellow PTO member and local pediatrician was diagnosed with breast cancer and undergoing treatment. The PTO called her, and asked her what we could to do help - meals, babysitting, etc. Her only request was to spread awareness. She asked that we have the local mammogram van visit the school for teachers and mothers to get their mammogram. So I was given the task of filling the van.

At first, no one would get on. Teachers claimed that it was hard to find the time. I panicked, because I needed to fill 10 spots. So I took the first appointment on the van and challenged the teachers to fill other spots. I told them they needed to do it for the PTO member that sent the van. I was 36 at the time. I had one aunt with breast cancer, but I had 7 aunts, so that wasn’t a big deal. We filled the van. We had teachers and mothers that were volunteering - it was awesome - a great way to honor our friend.

So, a week later, I find out that the test was abnormal, and I needed another “just to get a good baseline.” Then I went in for my biopsy a week after that. It was horrible…all the appointments, all the waiting.

So the day comes when I had to get my biopsy report. My husband and I waited in the waiting room for what seemed like years. When they finally opened to door to let us in, we knew. I turned to Eric and said, “baby…this is happening.” The doctor was amazing. He cried with us, he told us our options. He had already called my OBGYN, and she had recommended a surgeon. We left the office in shock, and then drove straight to our 6 year old twin daughters’ soccer game that my husband had to coach. Life goes on…you can’t dwell…you move on for your kids.

My initial reaction was absolute fear and shock. My husband had a sister who passed away from a brain tumor at 17, so we had been through this before. I didn’t sleep - I spent too much time searching the internet for things I shouldn’t read. Finally, after a late night talk with my father, he convinced me that I should NOT be on the internet. That was good advice. I cried all the time, but held it together around our children where were then 6, 6, and 2. All girls.

After meeting with the surgeon a few days later, all was put into perspective. She told me that I dodged a bullet. She believed that my cancer could be removed by surgery. I would need to have a mastectomy on my left breast. The cancer was completely throughout my ducts in my left breast. It had broken out of the duct in one part, which only put me at Stage 1, but there was no way to save the breast. I chose with no hesitation to have both breasts removed – there was no way I was going to go through this again.

This is the part I want you to remember: She told me that had I waited until I was 40 (AS IS RECOMMENDED BY DOCTORS) to get my first mammogram, it would have been really bad. I may not have made it. My 40th birthday has now just passed - my children are 10, 10, and 6 - and I am on my knees in thankful prayers that our PTO member sent that mammogram van to our school.

Overall, I think we handled the diagnosis and the surgery well. We were just so thankful that it was caught, and there was no feeling of pity or anger. My husband is such an amazing man. If he was upset about the loss of my breasts, he never once showed it. He was a rock. You know, people forget about the husbands when women are going through breast cancer. One night I woke up to find him downstairs crying. He never would show me his fear - he hid it from all of us.

My friends and I rallied after my surgery. We found contacts at EVERY school in our county and had the mammogram visit every school for two years. It was so awesome. We know of one person that was diagnosed from visiting the van! We had such a feeling of accomplishment. We were giving back! Unfortunately, the van broke down, and the hospital did not fix it. I am not sure why. We were crushed that this VERY effective means to get women their mammograms was gone.

I was blessed that I didn’t need chemo or radiation. In 8 weeks I was back on my feet and trying to have a normal life. I am on tamoxifen, which has been a struggle for me for 3 years, but I only have 2 years left. I can deal with moodiness, weight gain, hot flashes, memory loss, and night sweats if it means that I am going to see my amazing husband dance with his beautiful daughters at their weddings. We are blessed. Life is good. We can do this.

My top takeaways: Once again - 40 is WAY too late for your first mammogram. We like to say that “36 is the new 40.” So many women my age put their families and their jobs ahead of their own care - we put off appointments because we are all so busy with our kids. We need to take care of ourselves so we can be here for our kids.

And lastly, life is short, so don’t sweat the small stuff. Trust in God, love your family. The phrase “live, laugh, love” kind of sums it all up.

Thanks Amy for sharing your story! xx

inspire: on mistakes.

7 October, 2014 by Gracie 6 Comments

Right now I’m reading Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer, and I’ve been meaning to share this acrostic of sorts she references in the first chapter.

In this section of the book she talks about how “we are no surprise to God.” In other words, we need to stop dwelling on our mistakes because God loves and forgives us unconditionally. Period. That really resonated with me because I often take far too long to actually forgive myself. But instead of getting caught up in guilt/shame over the mistakes we’ve made, we should reflect on them in a positive light in order to move on and truly learn from them.

What are your thoughts on this? Would you say you usually learn from your mistakes?

stories of strength: hannah’s mom.

5 October, 2014 by Gracie 3 Comments

Last week I mentioned how I’ll be sharing Stories Of Strength here on GML to go alongside the new Speakable Strength Collection, where 15% of each necklace purchased with be donated to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

Here’s the first story from GML reader Hannah, who has bravely fought alongside her mom throughout three cancer diagnoses.

Breast cancer has hit home way too many times. My mom has been diagnosed three different times, and each time was so different with the age I was. The first time she was diagnosed I was in the third grade. I was old enough to know she was sick, but not old enough to understand the depths of her sickness. She went through chemo and radiation. She was a fighter but was so very sick when I think back on it. I thank God for family and friends who would take care of us and come visit. I remember just praying for God to heal her. It was so scary not really knowing what was going to happen.

She fought hard and was cancer free for eight years, but then she found another lump. I was a junior in high school at this point. I knew exactly what was happening this time and thought she’ll be fine. I wasn’t super worried about it. I thought – she survived one time, and she’ll survive it again. This time around they did a double mastectomy and reconstruction with radiation. It was a hard surgery, but as I said - she’s a fighter and fought it even harder than before. She’s a survivor.

Then my world was rocked for the third time. In January 2012 my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer again. I thought my world was over. She and I were closer than ever. She’s my best friend. I remember exactly where I was when she told me - the date, the time, what I was wearing and what my plans were for the rest of the weekend. I remember asking, “what? How? Why?” What was God trying to tell me or show me? I was pissed at everyone, including God.

I didn’t know where to turn. But the way my mom talked about it, I knew she was going to be okay. She had a peace about it when she talked. She is a rock star…I am so proud of her! But back to the stupid cancer.

She was diagnosed in January and the second week of February she had a double mastectomy for the second time. I remember sitting in the hospital eating breakfast just crying to my dad and sister. I was so scared. I hate cancer, I hated to see my mom suffering and I HATE hospitals. We had people coming to visit all day long. It was nice to see that people cared, but no one could understand what I was going through. Her surgery was about 4-6 hours long – it was the longest day ever.

When it was over her doctor came out and told us she got all the cancer out and that my mom was a rock star (which I already knew). She was in the hospital for two more days and then came home. It was so hard to see her suffer. I would drive back to my apartment from my parents house and cry, still asking “why?” A month later she started chemo. She had four chemo treatments and on her last one, the smile on her face was priceless. Three weeks later she turned 60!

When I look at my mom today I have so much respect and love for her I can barely take it. I will say it again - my mom is a rock star and a survivor - and I know that she couldn’t have gotten through her battle with cancer if it wasn’t for her faith.

today is your big moment.

24 September, 2014 by Gracie 11 Comments

I love this passage from Shauna Niequist so much…like to the point that I may start reading it every single day.

So I just had to share…

“Believe that this way of living, this focus on the present, the daily, the tangible, this intense concentration not on the news headlines but on the flowers growing in your own garden, the children growing in your own home, this way of living has the potential to open up the heavens, to yield a glittering handful of diamonds where a second ago there was coal. This way of living and noticing and building and crafting can crack through the movie sets and soundtracks that keep us waiting for our own life stories to begin, and set us free to observe the lives we have been creating all along without ever realizing it.

I don’t want to wait anymore. I choose to believe that there is nothing more sacred or profound than this day. I choose to believe that there may be a thousand big moments embedded in this day, waiting to be discovered like tiny shards of gold. The big moments are the daily, tiny moments of courage and forgiveness and hope that we grab on to and extend to one another. That’s the drama of life, swirling all around us, and generally I don’t even see it, because I’m too busy waiting to become whatever it is I think I am about to become. The big moments are in every hour, every conversation, every meal, every meeting.

The Heisman Trophy winner knows this. He knows that his big moment was not when they gave him the trophy. It was the thousand times he went to practice instead of going back to bed. It was the miles run on rainy days, the healthy meals when a burger sounded like heaven. That big moment represented and rested on a foundation of moments that had come before it.

I believe that if we cultivate a true attention, a deep ability to see what has been there all along, we will find worlds within us and between us, dreams and stories and memories spilling over. The nuances and shades and secrets and intimations of love and friendship and marriage and parenting are action-packed and multicolored, if you know where to look.

Today is your big moment. Moments, really. The life you’ve been waiting for is happening all around you. The scene unfolding right outside your window is worth more than the most beautiful painting, and the crackers and peanut butter that you’re having for lunch on the coffee table are as profound, in their own way, as the Last Supper. This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull off the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted.

Your life, right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better than the best movie you have ever seen. You and your family and your friends and your house and your dinner table and your garage have all the makings of a life of epic proportions, a story for the ages. Because they all are. Every life is.

You have stories worth telling, memories worth remembering, dreams worth working toward, a body worth feeding, a soul worth tending, and beyond that, the God of the universe dwells within you, the true culmination of super and natural.

You are more than dust and bones.
You are spirit and power and image of God.
And you have been given Today.”

- Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life

SBC: link love.

18 September, 2014 by Gracie 1 Comment

Ohhh the Internet. Full of "experts” and articles that we just can’t stop reading/sharing on Facebook.

Here are some links I’ve checked out recently that I thought were worth sharing (whether for a good read or just a good laugh).

**********

Mark Manson

This guy’s articles are definitely worth a read. Possibly tough to swallow…but on point.

The Great Unraveling

7 Dodgy Food Practices Banned in Europe That Are Just Fine Here

New York on Instagram Vs New York in Real Life

Every time I think I’ve quit BuzzFeed, they nail it with posts like this.

At This Adult Camp, Social Networking Means Hot Tubbing, Breakdancing, And An Open Bar

Genius.

Meet The Homeless Man Who Survives By Going Home With Women And Looking Good (Video)

Some might find this disheartening/insulting, others humorous. Either way it’s thought-provoking and definitely worth watching.

6 Ways to Manage and Thrive Through Transition and Change

Typewritten Verse

When you need some inspiration via the good ol’ BIBLE.

The Pros and Cons of the Paleo Diet

Guard Your Gates

16 Books You Need To Read This Fall

Is “Hangry” Real?

I didn’t even have to read this to know hell yes it is.

‘Cause Anything Could Happn: Finally a Dating App That Gets You A Second Chance at a First Impression

How cool/fun is this app? Whether or not actual (good) dates come out of it is inconclusive.

Agoraphobia and the Telecommuter

Looks like working from home isn’t for everyone.

I Dressed Like An Idiot At Fashion Week To See How Easy It Is To Get Street-Snapped

**********

Read any good articles/blogs lately? Let me know- would love to check them out!

SBC: a(nother) day in the life + thankful thursday.

18 September, 2014 by Gracie 8 Comments

Hey hey, happy Thursday!

How’s the September Blogging Challenge going for you? Be sure to send me the links to your posts (comment, tweet, etc.) – would love to check ‘em out

And FYI – I *will* be putting together a challenge for October. Be on the lookout!

#17: a day in the life.

I’m going to keep this day in the life pretty short and sweet…just because I have a lot of work to do

Yesterday (Wednesday) I got up bright and early to catch up on some reading, work, and lots of coffee. My super casual OOTD:

Then I headed out for an 8am breakfast in Brooklyn. I’m a Manhattan girl, but I’ve gotta say I love me some BK.

Afterward I headed back into the city and squeezed in a great workout.

Still in 2nd and 3rd place to “CJF” – how in the world does this dude/chick do 483 floors?!

After the gym I headed to lunch at Westville with my girl friend Victoria. I love their (massive) market veggie plates.

After lunch I had another quick meeting, then finished the work day at a nearby café. Then I headed home to get ready for a night out!

I really, really was hoping to make this new skirt/dress/suspenders thing work…but I felt too much like Hansel and Gretel. HA. So I went with shorts instead.

Big decisions, people.

The night was spent bopping around downtown, from rooftop to rooftop to wandering Little Italy. And that’s a wrap!

#18: thankful Thursday.

I just spent a few minutes thinking of things I could add to the usual list I make for Thankful Thursday, but honestly I’m just overwhelmed by how grateful I am for my life as a whole. My family, friends, career, where I live, and even my future.

Basically, I’m thankful for my (still very much being written) story.

**********

What are you thankful for today?

snapshots | 9.16.14.

16 September, 2014 by Gracie 3 Comments

I always try to find a way to make these snapshots posts cohesive, but it never works. I guess the all-over-the-place-ness is what makes them unique, right?

I’ll start with last Friday, where I went to the lovely wedding of my friends Mark and Trish.

It also happened to be the definition of a Brooklyn wedding, in the best possible way.

Mexicue food truck for dinner, Van Leeuwen ice cream truck for dessert. Yes please!

My poor ice cream sundae only had about two bites taken. Dancing had to be done.

I wore a black dress with crochet detailing, from the super fashionable juniors’ section at Macy’s.

Rewind back to Thursday (where I went to my first fashion show). Jessi and I also took the opportunity to shoot social media images for the 438435 brands we work for, haha.

Just a few…

(“Modeling” my own brand is so awkward, haha)

On Thursday I also finally got my new Daniel Wellington watch after a week of missing the UPS guy. The NYC apartment life struggle is REAL, you guys.

It was worth the wait.

(This is the Men’s Classic St. Andrews)

So I’m not the most competitive person in the world, but I feel pretty badass for being the only person to break into this guy/gal’s winning streak on the Stair Master.

I’m coming for you, CJF.

Let’s get real about SnapChat for a sec. I hate to break it to my SC friends, but 99% of my snaps are sent out of sheer boredom.

Still love ya

Last but not least – and this isn’t so much of a snapshot – but I’m just loving this verse so much lately. Such beautiful words…

**********

What’s your favorite thing about weddings? Any fun highlights from the past weekend?

SBC: playing catch up.

15 September, 2014 by Gracie 6 Comments

Ah, I can’t believe we’re already halfway through the September Blogging Challenge! I’m loving how many of you jumped on it along with me. I’ve already gotten a few requests for a October Blogging Challenge – would any of you be into that…?

Anyway, I missed a few days, so here’s a bit of a catch up.

(FYI I noticed I screwed up tomorrow’s #16 by referring to it as Monday when it’s a Tuesday. DUH, me. Just disregard that ;))

#12: my favorite quotes

Oh gosh, where to even begin?! My name is Gracie, and I’m a quote-aholic. There’s my Word document list of favorite quotes/Bible verses, my “words” Pinterest board, and there may or may not be secret “love quotes” Pinterest board too, hahaha.

But here are some of my top favorites right now…

“Make visible what, without you, might perhaps never have been seen.” Robert Bresson

“A single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us. To live is to be slowly born.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.” CS Lewis

“The pages are still blank, but there is a miraculous feeling of the words being there, written in invisible ink and clamoring to become visible.” Vladimir Nabokov

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.” Alan Keightley

“It is not the strength of your faith that saves you, but the strength of Him upon whom you rely.” Charles Spurgeon

“She could never go back and make some of the details pretty, all she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful.” Terri St. Cloud

“I’m not sure what I’ll do, but – well, I want to go places and see people. I want my mind to grow. I want to live where things happen on a big scale.” F. Scott Fitzgerald

“There is nothing wrong with loving the crap out of everything. Negative people find their walls. So never apologize for your enthusiasm. Never. Ever. Never.” Ryan Adams

#13: top guilty pleasures

I don’t know how much these can be considered “guilty” pleasures because I OWN these things But let’s go with…

The Bachelor/Bachelorette
cabs/car service
laundry pick up/delivery
grocery delivery
basically every romantic comedy of all time
Diet Coke and Splenda (probably the guiltiest because HELLO chemicals)

#14: favorite things about blogging

* first of all - it’s my creative outlet. I love writing and having a platform to share my voice/story.

* interacting with my readers. I seriously care about you all more than you realize!

* the “perks” – free stuff, events, making money from doing something I love. That might not be a very PC answer but whatever – I’m pretty sure most bloggers agree.

#15: favorite TV shows

This is always changing, but some of my recent favorites have been…

Mad Men
30 Rock
Breaking Bad
Modern Family
New Girl
How I Met Your Mother

**********

Your turn! Top guilty pleasure? TV show(s)? Quote(s)?

SBC: a day in the life + 11:11 (sort of).

10 September, 2014 by Gracie 13 Comments

I’ve mentioned before how my schedule varies so much from day to day. On some days I’m in front of a computer for 8 hours, other days I’m running around the city for meetings, and others I’m doing nail polish photo shoots in the park.

I’m serious.

#SeptBloggingChallenge number 10: a day in the life.

Today was a pretty low key day in my life. I woke up around 7 and did work for my social media clients for about 2 hours.

Then I drank some green juice and got ready to head out for the day.

Around 10am I walked to Flatiron and had a 30 minute gossip session chat with my mom. Then I worked for a few hours + had client meetings with Jessi.

After our meetings we headed to lunch at Friend of a Farmer.

French press and cobb salads, please and thank you.

On my walk home I stopped for a mani/pedi because I’m my own boss and do what I want

Just kidding.

But not really.

I also stopped at the store for the fixins for Cake Batter Blondies and bacon wrapped dates.

The occasion? Girls’ night at my place!

The girl friends and I decided to make an official weekly get-together, and I’m soooo glad we did. NYC isn’t exactly the easiest place to live, so to have good friends is 100% necessary, in my opinion.

I caught up on work and blog posts before and after our night before passing out around…well, 10 minutes from now. So…that’s that! A (Wednes)day in my life.

#SeptBloggingChallenge number 11: make a wish.

Yeeeeah totally not sharing my wish. I think it’s a combo of being superstitious and embarrassed about my wish(es).

Not to mention that I also consider myself much more of a “doer” than a wisher. I guess I probably should have thought about that before added it to the challenge, haha.