A couple of months ago I posted about the dating app revolution that is Tinder. Well, a few days after that, I started using Tinder for myself. You know, for research purposes 😉
Honestly, I was really wary at first. I didn’t think Tinder was “my kind of thing” (which, I was right about). But after that original post I got a ton of readers asking me to review it. And I reminded myself that it is just an app, after all.
I stopped using Tinder a couple of weeks ago for reasons I’ll explain in a bit, but it was definitely an interesting experience that I’m excited to share about.
Here are the pros and cons I learned from using Tinder.
the pros of Tinder.
1. it builds confidence.
I get asked out here and there in “real life”,” but it’s quite the confidence booster to see that guys I found really attractive thought that I was as well.
2. it greatly opens possibly.
This one is pretty obvious – on Tinder you become open to meeting hundreds or thousands of people that you might not otherwise. I’ve heard of many people meeting their boyfriend/girlfriend on Tinder so…who knows!
3. it’s free, uncomplicated, and can be fun.
Tinder doesn’t have the commitment level of online dating, which might appeal to a lot of people who want to meet new singles without spending money or creating a full profile. Not to mention it’s simple, and can just be plain fun.
4. it’s (oddly) like meeting people in real life.
This is something my friend mentioned before that I did find to be true.
5. it’s a learning experience.
I’m a big believer that being self aware is really important when it comes to dating and being in a relationship. Using Tinder helped me realize more about what I like, need, and deserve when it comes to dating.
the cons of Tinder.
1. it seemed like a lot of people view it as a game, or just a means to hook up.
This was the main issue for me. I’m definitely not saying that all guys view Tinder this way, but most of the guys I chatted with…well, it ended pretty quickly when I could tell we didn’t have the same intentions. I definitely chatted with some decent guys too, but I guess got sick of “weeding through” the others (then again, I suppose that’s life in general when it comes to dating).
2. you don’t always know what you’re going to get.
This is something I knew going into using Tinder, and it can definitely be fun to meet someone for the first time without knowing much about them. But even though I saw pictures and chatted with guys before going out with them, it’s still essentially a blind date. I much prefer having met someone first to gauge if there’s at least a bit of a connection before going on a date.
3. I wasn’t coming across my “type” of guy.
The reason I put “type” in quotation marks is because the older I get and the more I date, the more I realize that I actually *don’t* have a type. However, for me it’s important to date a guy that’s a) a Christian and b) looking for more than just a hookup. I’m *not* saying that those guys can’t be or aren’t on Tinder, but I didn’t meet any in the 2-3 months I was on there.
So as you can see, I actually came up with more pros than cons with it comes to Tinder. However, with where I’m at in life right now, the cons (especially #1 and #3) are “bigger” enough than the pros that I’ve stopped using Tinder. So while I wouldn’t say Tinder is terrible, I’m personally going to keep at it the old fashioned way.
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Have you tried Tinder? Which of these do you agree/disagree with most?
There was an NPR report about Tinder recently, and they talked about how it was by and large a “hook up” app. I like the concept behind it, but that’s definitely not what I’m aiming for!
Yup, I would agree with that! When I originally posted about it I got a ton of comments of people having friends who met their bf/gf on there (one of my good friends did as well), but it definitely seems like that’s the overwhelming exception!
I’m not on the tinder bandwagon at the moment but it does intrigue me. I’m like you in that I know what I want and I’m not convinced that my “type” is going to be on an app like tinder. If I was looking to hook up then tinder would be perfect but I’m interested in a more lasting relationship.
I am super engaged, so I am not on Tinder, but I’m really interested in kind of checking it out for research. But that’s super inappropriate, so I might employ a single friend to use it for my research.
The only thing I will say? Try dating someone who is NOT your type. I never really thought I had a type, but when Austin and I started dating like 3 years ago, he was not the usual type of guy I go for. He was a PhD, kind of a dork, and I never had been with a guy like that. But I gave him a chance, and a few years later, we’re getting married! That said, you obviously need to date someone whose core values are the same, but think outside the box!
Yup, couldn’t agree more! I said above that I don’t have a type anymore like I used to, the only thing that’s a non-negotiable for me is a Christian man. That’s the only thing that’s my “type”!
I have never used Tinder, but it looks like it could be fun? I would agree with the pros and cons (from what I have heard from friends) regarding why to use it or not. I think I’m just more old-fashioned and would like to meet people more organically, if that makes sense. Naturally
And that way, I would definitely know “what I’m getting” and “if that person is my type”!
I’m not on Tinder, but have heard about it and actually get texts from guys using the app who have texted my number by mistake. Subsequently, I have been curious about it, but didn’t know anyone who used it. This was a great review – totally relevant to modern day dating. Technology has found its way into the structure of all kinds of personal relationships and this is yet another example. They all have their pros and cons, and it’s always helpful to learn about them. Thank you!
glad you found it helpful, you’re very welcome!
Try Coffee Meets Bagel. My friend is using it and says it has gone really well. You get one match a day, and if you pass on the person it asks why and give you new matches according to your responses and preferences. Everyone is well educated, and you can specify by religion! She is dating a guy starting Columbia med school this year. Would love to see you review it!
ohh interesting, never heard of it! will look into it!
I love that you actually explored this. Not my things either but appreciate your openness and honesty!
http://www.naturallyginger.com
My guy friends put it on my phone, and it ends up they just wanted to see their competition! Haha. Men. My friends for sure saw, and used it as a way to “hook up”. That’s not my style nor what I’m looking for right now, so I deleted immediately, so I totally get why you did too.
It is interesting though and you can get hooked browsing what’s out there! 😉
would love to chat more about this because we may speak about it at the liberty relationship seminar
haha kk
This past summer my friends and I were all joking about this new app called Tinder and how it was basically a “hot or not”…but laying in bed bored one night I decided to give it a try. The first guy I came across whose picture I liked..showed that we had about 15 mutual friends..I made the move and messaged him..turns out we went to the same college (he graduated 2 years before me) and we now lived 2 blocks away from each other. It was strange that we had never met before..and if not for tinder we may never have. However, the 1st and only guy I talked to on tinder is now my boyfriend and definitely could be “the one”. I’ve got nothing but love for tinder 😉
haha, love it!! it definitely seems like the longer term matches made on Tinder happen when people aren’t even looking for it! Thanks for sharing - best of luck to you and your boyfriend! xoxo
I have a boyfriend, but I find Tinder fascinating to play with when my single friends are looking through their matches. One of my good friends actually just started officially dating someone he met on Tinder, which is hilarious because he downloaded it as a joke to see what all the fuss was about. That seems to be the key- the less seriously people take it, the more likely they are to be open-minded. It’s definitely a different target audience than match.com, but there’s a reason they say you always find love when you’re not looking for it!
Yes, that’s a good point! Based on a lot of my comments it seems like that’s how it seems to work with Tinder!
Annie says
I met my boyfriend and (hopefully!) soon to be fiancé on Tinder. Both of us had been single for awhile, and our friends were talking about it and downloaded as a joke. Lo and behold I met the most amazing man of God and someone who treats me with the utmost respect. Our first date actually lasted past coffee, past lunch, and we went to dinner at a place we could sit and talk until 1 in the morning! He lives in a different city, so without Tinder I probably would have never met him!
Wow, congrats! That’s a great Tinder success story
thanks for sharing!
Julie says
After going on three failed, awkward Tinder dates, I was bored one night after date #3, and decided to be less restrictive with my swiping. The typical guys I was going for were the bearded hipsters with flannel shirt look. I took a chance and swiped right for the nerdy, phd types, this math professor from a nearby university showed up, and I decided, “why not”, i’m happy to say we have been seeing each other exclusively for a couple months now and we are our way to become gf/bf soon! Who knew going out of my typical guy comfort zone could land me such a great smart guy! All thanks to Tinder!
Hey Julie, just seeing this comment and LOVING it. Especially because I tend to go for the bearded hipsters too, hahaha. I definitely agree (and have been learning) how important it is to go outside of my comfort zone! So glad it worked out for you