If you’re a regular reader of GML, you’ve probably noticed that I LOVE my girl friends. Obsessed with them, actually.
Since doing the being a girl in NYC series – and ever since I moved to New York, really – I’ve gotten a lot of requests for advice on making new friends. I wrote a post about making friends in New York that I think can be applicable to anyone, but here are some more (practical and mindset-shifting) tips that I think are really helpful for how to make new girl friends.
(With some minor tweaks, this is applicable to guys too!)
1) join some sort of group.
This is one of the easiest ways to meet likeminded people who probably want to make friends as well. Some ideas:
* a church / church group
* volunteer somewhere
* fitness classes
* other hobby classes (cooking, sewing, etc.)
* networking events in your industry
2) tag along with someone who has a big social circle.
I’m not saying to be a leech, but chances are that someone who has a large circle of friends will be more than willing to let you in. Be honest with them – say you’re looking to make new friends, and would love to join on the next group hangout.
3) start off with a compliment.
The most awkward part of making a new girl friend is just starting a conversation with them. I’ve found that simply complimenting other girls is the easiest way to break the ice and find a common thing for you to chat about. Not to mention I think girls should make it more of a point to compliment one another, but we’ll save that for another post ![]()
4) organize a girls’ night.
This is something I’ve learned from my best friend Jessi. From the moment I met her, she was the type of person that always created fun opportunities. Start a group text or email chain with a group of girls, and figure out a date that you can all go out to dinner, or have a night in of baking and pedicures. Most girls love these opportunities, so why not be the one who organizes them?
5) always give the benefit of the doubt.
Don’t be that girl that assumes all other girls are b*tches. Sure, there are some bad seeds out there, but I like to believe that most girls are nice if you give them the chance. For some reason, girls have been wired to automatically not like other girls (what is UP with that?), and I suggest going against that mentality as much as possible.
Practically speaking, giving a girl a compliment (as mentioned above) is actually a great way to gauge whether she’s friend-material or not. For example, if her response to “I love your shoes!” is “I know, right??” then…well, eh.
6) utilize social media.
I’ve met some amazing girls through social media and blogging – including my best friend Monica. Millions of people are finding dates online these days, so why not use the Internet to find friends? If it feels too weird for you, start by “friending” or following someone who you have mutual friends with. And…it’s 2013, so get over thinking it’s weird!
7) you have to take the initiative.
I think that this is what it all boils down to. When it comes to making new friends…it’s a mindset that you just have to have. Stop hoping that someone will notice you sitting all alone and reach out to you. I’ve tried that before, and it rarely works. Sorry I’m not sorry for the tough love, but the truth is that YOU are the one responsible when it comes to making new friends. So put yourself out there, will ya?
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Which of these do you agree with most? Disagree?
Have anything to add?









