great expectations.

This is something that has been on my heart and mind a lot lately, and something I’ve posted about a handful of times before (see below related posts). I actually believe that one of my “life messages,” if you want to call it that, is encouraging women not to settle. Not just in regards to relationships, but in all areas of life. This quote helped put that ideas into a new perspective for me, and I wanted to share it with you.

I talk often about having hopes/dreams/desires - and I absolutely think that’s important - but lately I’m realizing what a huge difference it makes to have a YES from God on those areas.

Because here’s the thing. When we decide on our own hopes and desires, we can easily second guess ourselves. When things don’t seem to be working out - or when a “good enough” version comes around we think, “well maybe my hopes were just too high?”

But when GOD gives you the dream or desire, there’s no second guessing. There’s no settling. It’s time to start letting HIM set our expectations.

It’s not based on entitlement, but on trust. When you trust that was He has for you is far beyond what you could even dream up or achieve for yourself, it kind of doesn’t really matter what else happens or what comes along. It makes it easy to rely on the TRUTH of what He has given you, rather than on (ever-fleeting) emotions.

This is something I’ve been experiencing a lot over the past few months. I can’t exactly explain it other than the whole “when you know you know” sort of thing. I’ve gotten a very clear YES from God in certain areas of my life, so when something seems off from that…I know with certainty that it is.

So I want to encourage you today - have you asked God what He has for you? Have you asked Him if the things you’re dreaming for or working toward are part of His plan? Grab a journal and write down your answers. It can be a bit of a scary question to ask, but I can promise you that if you leave room for the impossible in your life, God will fill in the spaces…and then some.

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In what area do you need to let God set your expectations?

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Related posts:
Life: Unfiltered
How To Stay On Course
More Than The Counterfeit
On Knowing Your Identity
The Thing About Striving
Why I Don’t Do Christianity

ridding vs replacing.

hope

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of giving up.

Don’t worry - this post isn’t going to be as pessimistic as that suggests 😉

Recently I’ve seen a handful of articles online addressing when and why it’s important to give up certain things in life. And then of course there’s the countless “inspirational” quotes on Pinterest saying things like:

“If it doesn’t matter, get rid of it.”

“Saying yes to happiness means saying no to things and people that stress you out.”

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story…leave.”

I’ll be the first to admit that those quotes have resonated with me. I found them all on my own Pinterest board, in fact. Don’t get me wrong - I get it. I understand that there is a time and a place in life to give up on things that are unhealthy or harmful. But lately, quotes + articles centered around the idea of giving up have left me feeling so…icky. Defeated. And it has got me wondering if sometimes in an effort to free ourselves from painful things, we’re going about it all wrong.

Maybe I’m missing the point. Maybe I’m looking too much into something that is just mere semantics. But, what if those semantics - the words we speak over our lives and let resonate with us - what if they affect us more than we realize?

I think it’s important to look at the fruit that certain beliefs and thoughts have in our lives. For example, any time I’ve “given up” or “stopped wasting my time” on something, it never left me a better person in the end. Instead it left me feeling defeated, fearful, and empty.

Yes - getting rid of unhealthy things in your life is important. It IS a good thing. But even more important is REPLACING those unhealthy things with something else. Something positive. Something that will ADD to your life.

So instead of just getting rid of fear - replace it with PEACE.

Instead of just getting rid of your worries about the future - replace those worries with HOPE.

If cutting out unhealthy relationships - replace them with the right ones.

Instead of speaking over your life that you’re giving up - shift your focus on what you DO want. Be expectant!

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What are your thoughts on this? What in your life needs some replacing right now?

 

Related posts:

how to stay on course
how to get out of a rut
choose joy
how to deal with a bad day
life: unfiltered
strategically unstrategic

how to deal with a bad day.

Today was a bad day.

I’m not going to sugar coat or add a filter here. Today just…sucked. It actually had nothing to do with my circumstances (nothing “happened”), I was just in one of those moods where I felt bleh. Unmotivated, frustrated, questioning all of my life’s decisions…

Yeah. One of those days.

Don’t worry. My pity party is over, so I won’t be letting it out on you. Instead, I used this bad day to learn more about myself and how to make bad days less bad, and hopefully can pass a little something positive out of it along to you.

1. Realize (and accept) that you’re JUST having a bad day.
Seems obvious enough, right? Well, I don’t know about you, but I can far too easily NOT realize this, and that can often make a day go from bad to worse. The simple realization and admission that it’s a bad DAY, not a bad LIFE can help shift your perspective to get through the day. Remind yourself that it’s only 24 hours (or less). You can get through it. You WILL get through it.

2. Don’t let a bad day turn into a bad week.
This is very much related to #1. Just keep reminding yourself that the way you’re feeling isn’t going to last forever. It most likely isn’t even going to last until tomorrow. Focus on the day at hand - getting over it and getting through it - and do whatever it takes to keep it from rolling over into tomorrow.

3. Meditate - don’t medicate.
When you’re having a bad day or in a bad mood, it’s natural to want to numb those feelings or distract yourself with self-medication. Things like eating, drinking, shopping, etc. Most of the time you’ll probably regret doing any of those things to try to make yourself feel better. Those are just bandaids. Instead, it’s important to address the underlying reason(s) you might be having a bad day. If you have the time - even if it’s just 5 minutes - go somewhere alone to sit quietly and meditate. For me that looks like prayer and journaling. For you it might be listening to music, deep breathing, or going for a walk.

4. Write down the things you’re thankful for.
This is a habit that is always beneficial to have, but it’s especially important on the bad days and can really help put things into perspective.

5. Sweat it out and/or get outside.
Personally, exercise and just getting outside are two things that automatically alleviate stress + sadness. There’s just something about sweat and fresh air (especially together) that can totally re-set everything.

6. Try to put off making decisions, if possible.
This is something I’ve definitely learned the hard way, and also why it’s so important to first recognize that you’re having a bad day. When I’m not myself, I tend to make rash decisions that seem like great ideas, only to regret it the following day/week. A bad day or being in a bad mood is NOT the time to quit your job, bring up important conversations, make big purchases, etc. Trust me on that one 😉

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Hope that wasn’t too much of a debbie-downer post, ha! I just thought it might be of help to some of you who might be going through a bad day/rough week <3

How do you deal with bad days? Anything to add?

7 tips for making the ultimate to-do list.

If I could share my number one piece of advice when it comes to being productive, it would be making a to-do list. I’m actually surprised I haven’t written a blog post on this yet!

Having a to-do list isn’t revolutionary by any means. I’m pretty sure most people have a running to-do list in some shape or form. But for me…it’s a must. A lifesaver. An absolute necessity.

Here’s the thing about having a (well done) to-do list - it doesn’t just help you to be more productive, but it actually FREES you from a lot of stress.

I don’t know about you, but I can have a million and one tasks/responsibilities to do at any given time, and to say it’s overwhelming to think about them all at once is an understatement. But when you have a to-do list that is properly organized (by priority, time, ease, etc.) it makes all the difference in the world and actually removes so much anxiety.

Here are a few of my tips for keeping a to-do list that have literally changed my life.

Tips For Making The Ultimate To-Do List | GirlMeetsLife.com

Pick 3-5 of your TOP things to accomplish per day.

This. Is. CRUCIAL. It goes back to what I was saying about having your list help lessen stress. If you only have a select number of things that you have to accomplish on any given day, it makes them much more easy to focus on and complete. For me, my top 3-5 things are typically work-related, because 99% of the time that is my highest priority.

^ Do those things first.

You can have other tasks on your to-do list for any given day, but they should be smaller, easier tasks. For example, my 3-5 tops tasks are usually work projects, and then my remaining tasks are things like laundry, errands, etc. But once the “hard” stuff is out of the way, it’s like it’s all downhill from there.

Assign certain categories to each day.

So I must admit that this isn’t something I do ALL the time, but it can definitely be extremely helpful. A friends recently told me about this tip and I thought it was genius. The idea is to divide days up into certain task categories. So for example could have something like “Administrative Monday” for paying bills, planning appointments, and so on. And other days focused on things like marketing, new projects, research, etc.

This is very dependent on your job, of course, and probably more suitable if you create your own schedule. But it’s an interesting concept that I think could be tweaked no matter what your role is.

Keep your to-do list in the notes on your phone, iPad, or computer.

There are so many fancy-pants apps and journals for to-do lists, but I’m personally a fan of keeping it pretty simple in the notes on my iPad. The reason I like this is because I add to and edit my list often (see below), and this makes it way easier to do so. It’s simple, straightforward, and efficient. I also divide it up by day, so my list usually looks like this:

MONDAY
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah

TUESDAY
blah blah blah
blah blah blah
blah blah blah

Write down even the smallest of tasks.

If you saw some of the things I have on my list, you might think I’m a crazy person (and probably wouldn’t understand half of it, to be honest). That’s because I add every single little thing I could possibly think of. WHY? Because the more tasks you can get on that list, the less they’re swirling around in your head taking up your precious time and thoughts. Even if it’s something you have to do in a few days or even a few weeks, once it’s on the list you just don’t have to think about it again until it’s time to actually do it.

Edit your list frequently.

This is why I find it so easy to keep my to-do list in my digital notes. Depending on how my day is going (because we all know that days have so many twists and turns), I edit my tasks often. Sometimes I get more done in a day than I thought. Sometimes I have to push tasks to the following day. But instead of giving up on the list all together (which is something I think a lot of people end up doing), I just keep editing it. And you know what? Eventually everything still always gets done.

Want to take it to the next level? Look into Podio.

I’ve tried a handful of different workspaces over the years, and hands down Podio is my absolute favorite. I don’t know if I’d recommend it so much for personal use (we use it to manage NYC Collective) or just for a to-do list, but if you are in search of a more extensive work space I could not recommend it more highly.

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Do you regularly keep a to-do list? What’s your best advice/method?

you are ready.

You are ready. You are ready. You are ready.

I felt like someone was supposed to hear (er, read) that today. I know I was.

Somehow we always find ourselves believing these lies that we have to wait until “x, y, or z” happen to pursue the things we want in life. But it doesn’t work that way.

You’re not going to be ready when you lose 10 pounds.
…when you get the raise.
…when you can break that habit.
…when someone else tells you you’re ready.
…or whatever that thing in your life that is holding you back happens.

Here’s the thing - it most likely will happen. But I can’t help but think that breaking through those barriers we put up for ourselves and moving forward anyway…that’s actually what propels those things into finally falling into place…

 

What dream/goal have you been holding yourself back from? What small thing can you do today to move in the right direction?

what i learned from my 30 day Instagram break.

You may or may not have noticed, but a few weeks ago I kinda sorta disappeared from Instagram. I made a quick mention of it here on GML, but didn’t really explain why.

To make a long story short - I needed it. Plain and simple. It’s something I knew I should have done for…gosh, over a year. But last month I felt more strongly than ever that God was telling me to fast from Instagram. I had been asking Him for clarity and guidance in a lot of areas of my life, so when I felt like He was saying that, I didn’t hesitate to obey.

This may be a bold statement, but taking 30 days off from Instagram was truly life-changing. It may have been more for me than for most people because I work in Social Media so am on it ALL day (and yes - I still posted for the brands I work for), but it affected me more than I thought it would.

Here’s how.

I missed the community.
I didn’t realize how much a sense of community I got out of being on Instagram. It’s one of the top ways I communicate with people, so that would only make sense. Instagram has become a way I stay in touch with many people in my life, as well as people I’ve met through social media/blogging, and it was a bummer not being able to keep up with them as much.

…but I learned that it’s not entirely a real community.
The strangest part of the fast was during the first few days. This is going to sound really weird, but I felt very lonely. As I just mentioned, I didn’t realize how much I use Instagram to communicate/keep up with what’s going on in people’s lives. But the truth is that most of the time it wasn’t exactly real, genuine communication (voyeurism is probably a better word for it a lot of the time, to be honest). There’s a huge difference between observing and thinking you know what’s going on than actually spending time with people, communicating one on one, and cultivating deep/meaningful relationships.

I suddenly had a lot more time in my day.
I didn’t think that Instagram took up a lot of my day - just posting pictures here and there, mindlessly scrolling through as I do other things, etc. But apparently that all adds up. For the past 30 days I felt like I had so much more time to get things done and wasn’t in as much of a rush.

I felt more relaxed and less scatter-brained.
On that same note, my mind just felt clearer than it has in…years. It took a few days to get there (to clear out the “InstaBrain”), but eventually I remembered what it felt like to not have that urge to grab my phone every 5 minutes. Technology in general has just made everything so fast paced and…well, instant, and it was nice to experience at least a bit of a slower pace + less distraction sans Instagram.

My mind has evolved to think in pictures.
A lot of this is due to working in Social Media, but I found it hard to shake thinking of things in their Instagram form. I admittedly had become that person who thought, if there’s not a photo of it, did it really even happen? The 30 days off definitely helped free me from that, which I’m really glad about. Speaking of freeing…

It’s freeing to not have everyone know what I’m doing.
It’s kind of funny to think about how just about 10 years or so ago, no one really knew what anyone else was doing. Now you can see where your ex-coworker’s grandma is having dinner while she’s vacationing in Maine. It felt good to have a sense of privacy and be “invisible” for a few weeks.

…but I love having Instagram as an outlet.
I’m a sharer - always have been, always will be. When there’s something fun or cool or tasty or pretty, I like to tell people! And I love that Instagram allows me to do that.

I care what people think about me.
Way more than I thought I did.

…but I don’t want to (obviously).
So I’m going to nip that in the bud real fast.

I found myself doing things simply for the experience, and more deeply enjoying them.
I don’t think this is a surprising one. I already knew that my cell phone/social media was the enemy of experience, and the past 30 days just proved it more.

Same goes for enjoying company.
You know what’s better than Instagram comments, likes, Tweets, Statuses, emails, and text? Real, deep, human conversation. Laughter. Talking to strangers. Making new friends. Dancing the night away without a photo to show for it.

So…what now? Well, technically I’m back on Instagram, but I definitely want to make sure that I never forget these lessons I learned. I broke off some bad habits that I didn’t even realize existed, and I want to keep it that way.

Have you ever taken a break from Instagram/social media?

Related posts:
life: unfiltered
how social media has made us terrible daters
what I hate(d) about blogging
strategically unstrategic
the problem with the hustle