so this is goodbye.

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I can’t believe I’m writing this post. To be honest, I wrote it about 4 months ago.

In January of 2010 I started this blog. And today, I’m saying goodbye.

This a decision I didn’t make lightly. I found myself going back and forth a million times. Lists of pros and cons. How could I POSSIBLY not have GML as part of my life? How could I let my readers down? Will people think I’m being a quitter? Who am I, if not for the “girl” behind Girl Meets Life?

While I’ve got some reasons below (mostly because I’m a verbal processor / feel like I need to give at least some sort of explanation), the truth is that this decision is one made mostly based on my gut. I can’t explain why, but this is something I just know I have to do. And when I get that feeling, I know I have to go with it. You’ve probably noticed I’ve been less than active on GML over the past few months, so I don’t think this should be the biggest shock.

If you’ve been a long time reader of GML, you’ve seen me go through quite the journey. From being a naive college grad who barely knew a thing about her identity, to moving to NYC, making a life for myself here, and essentially becoming the woman I am today.

I can honestly say I would not be who I am today if it were not for GML. This blog taught me how to express myself. It challenged me to dig deep into who I am and what I want my life to look like. It dug up some not-so-pretty things I knew I wanted to change about myself, and helped me embrace things that I once tried to hide.

Most importantly, GML has been a way to share my voice and form relationships with women all over the globe - women I may never see face to face, but will always have a special place in my heart. I cannot even begin to thank each and every one of you for the comments, emails, and kind words you’ve left me over the years. You have truly impacted my life more than you know.

You may be wondering the why behind this decision, and there are a few reasons. For the most part, I’m just ready to move on to new things. A new season. GML has been an amazing chapter in my life, but in many ways I just feel like I’ve grown out of it.

GML just doesn’t get me fired up like it used to. It has started to feel like more of a chore, and I realized that I owe you all more than keeping it alive with subpar posts just for the sake of keeping it alive. When I discovered that other things started giving me that fired up/passionate feeling, I realized that it wasn’t just another phase. I thought about just keeping GML alive and posting here and there when I felt like it, but honestly it kills me to be that half-assed about it. That wouldn’t be doing justice to what I’ve built + been so passionate about for so many years. I’d much rather take some time off and see if the passion comes back in time.

I hate to be that person who leaves an annoying little caveat, but the truth is that I may come back to GML one of these days. I believe I’m entering into a new season of life - one that doesn’t include GML - but I could see myself needing/wanting the platform again in the future. I guess we’ll see.

So…what now? That’s a question I don’t fully know the answer to, and that really excites me. I’ll be pouring myself into my job and other projects I’ve been working on.

You can also still find me on social media if you’d like - Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Snapchat (alagracie).

Once again, I can’t tell you enough how thankful I am for these amazing years getting to share my life with you and getting to know you. I love you all and hope we can stay in touch!

Goodbye, friends.

what i learned from my 30 day Instagram break.

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You may or may not have noticed, but a few weeks ago I kinda sorta disappeared from Instagram. I made a quick mention of it here on GML, but didn’t really explain why.

To make a long story short - I needed it. Plain and simple. It’s something I knew I should have done for…gosh, over a year. But last month I felt more strongly than ever that God was telling me to fast from Instagram. I had been asking Him for clarity and guidance in a lot of areas of my life, so when I felt like He was saying that, I didn’t hesitate to obey.

This may be a bold statement, but taking 30 days off from Instagram was truly life-changing. It may have been more for me than for most people because I work in Social Media so am on it ALL day (and yes - I still posted for the brands I work for), but it affected me more than I thought it would.

Here’s how.

I missed the community.
I didn’t realize how much a sense of community I got out of being on Instagram. It’s one of the top ways I communicate with people, so that would only make sense. Instagram has become a way I stay in touch with many people in my life, as well as people I’ve met through social media/blogging, and it was a bummer not being able to keep up with them as much.

…but I learned that it’s not entirely a real community.
The strangest part of the fast was during the first few days. This is going to sound really weird, but I felt very lonely. As I just mentioned, I didn’t realize how much I use Instagram to communicate/keep up with what’s going on in people’s lives. But the truth is that most of the time it wasn’t exactly real, genuine communication (voyeurism is probably a better word for it a lot of the time, to be honest). There’s a huge difference between observing and thinking you know what’s going on than actually spending time with people, communicating one on one, and cultivating deep/meaningful relationships.

I suddenly had a lot more time in my day.
I didn’t think that Instagram took up a lot of my day - just posting pictures here and there, mindlessly scrolling through as I do other things, etc. But apparently that all adds up. For the past 30 days I felt like I had so much more time to get things done and wasn’t in as much of a rush.

I felt more relaxed and less scatter-brained.
On that same note, my mind just felt clearer than it has in…years. It took a few days to get there (to clear out the “InstaBrain”), but eventually I remembered what it felt like to not have that urge to grab my phone every 5 minutes. Technology in general has just made everything so fast paced and…well, instant, and it was nice to experience at least a bit of a slower pace + less distraction sans Instagram.

My mind has evolved to think in pictures.
A lot of this is due to working in Social Media, but I found it hard to shake thinking of things in their Instagram form. I admittedly had become that person who thought, if there’s not a photo of it, did it really even happen? The 30 days off definitely helped free me from that, which I’m really glad about. Speaking of freeing…

It’s freeing to not have everyone know what I’m doing.
It’s kind of funny to think about how just about 10 years or so ago, no one really knew what anyone else was doing. Now you can see where your ex-coworker’s grandma is having dinner while she’s vacationing in Maine. It felt good to have a sense of privacy and be “invisible” for a few weeks.

…but I love having Instagram as an outlet.
I’m a sharer - always have been, always will be. When there’s something fun or cool or tasty or pretty, I like to tell people! And I love that Instagram allows me to do that.

I care what people think about me.
Way more than I thought I did.

…but I don’t want to (obviously).
So I’m going to nip that in the bud real fast.

I found myself doing things simply for the experience, and more deeply enjoying them.
I don’t think this is a surprising one. I already knew that my cell phone/social media was the enemy of experience, and the past 30 days just proved it more.

Same goes for enjoying company.
You know what’s better than Instagram comments, likes, Tweets, Statuses, emails, and text? Real, deep, human conversation. Laughter. Talking to strangers. Making new friends. Dancing the night away without a photo to show for it.

So…what now? Well, technically I’m back on Instagram, but I definitely want to make sure that I never forget these lessons I learned. I broke off some bad habits that I didn’t even realize existed, and I want to keep it that way.

Have you ever taken a break from Instagram/social media?

Related posts:
life: unfiltered
how social media has made us terrible daters
what I hate(d) about blogging
strategically unstrategic
the problem with the hustle

you asked for it.

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You guysssss.

Thank you SO much for the overwhelming response on the survey. I found your answers extremely helpful and gained a lot of insight about what you like/don’t like. I thought I had a good idea before, but I learned a lot that I had no idea about, and I’m really grateful for that 🙂

I want to especially thank you for the “tough love” - I got a handful of it, but it was all communicated in a kind and thoughtful way. What did I do to deserve the best readers ever?!

One of the top responses I got was that you’d like to see more real life / transparency, and I totally get that. As much as I value my privacy, I 100% understand how blogs can seem…well, pointless, without feeling like you know the person behind it.

So for the sake of becoming more transparent again, here is some of your feedback and my responses.

“More actual content and less just pictures with one word.”
- AKA no more lazy posts? 😉 Got it.

“I’d like to see less sponsored posts.”
- Noted. I’ve really been making it a point to lessen the sponsored content, especially when it comes to stuff/brands that I actually don’t like (yes, I admit I’ve done that in the past). With that being said, girl’s gotta make a living. I’m still going to do sponsored content here and there for products/events/etc. that I personally like or enjoy, and I will always disclose that. I hope you can understand! And hey - at least I’m acknowledging it, right?

“I think it would be fun if you talked more about building your style, if that is something you are comfortable with.”
- I like that! Thanks for the suggestion.

“I really enjoy your blog as a twenty-something living in a big city and I like most of what you post, but sometimes I get secondhand embarassment from the fashion blogger posts. Everything else you do I like, but that aspect (not your fashion posts in general, but the styled shoots with a photographer) seem so different and uncomfortable than the rest of the blog.”
- This made me LOL…just because it’s like my worst nightmare to give someone secondhand embarrassment 😛 Especially when I felt no embarrassment at all! But I appreciate the honesty VERY much, and I agree to an extent. Even though I had fun with it and enjoyed experimenting with new content, I’m just not a fashion blogger. And I’m perfectly okay with that.

“I understand that you like to keep some things in your life private and I am not saying this in any way to be hurtful or mean, but lately I just have not been as interested in your blog because it seems very impersonal. As a fellow 20 something girl, I’m just trying to figure it all out as well — but the thing I love most about other blogs I follow are the discussions/posts centered around relationships (family/friends/romance!!). I don’t see much (or any) of that on your blog lately, and it just seems to me like it would help your readers get more interested/involved because we could know more about your life than just what brands of makeup you use and where you get your clothes. Not saying I don’t love those posts too — because I do! I just wish there was more of a personal element, that’s all. Totally up to you, because I understand not wanting your life plastered on the internet — just something to think about!”
- This was hands down my favorite response. THANK YOU for so clearly and kindly expressing that. I definitely think you spoke for many more of my readers, and it was the encouragement I needed to open more than I have been.

“would like: decorating/organizing small apartment spaces, pursuing joy/purpose in your 20s, ballin on budget.”
- Love those ideas. Thanks!

“More of balancing health/fitness with social life”
- Such a great idea. Definitely not easy here in NYC, but I think I’m finally starting to figure it out.

“Your faith-based posts are super relatable. It is a challenge to be both a modern woman and someone who consciously makes faith a priority in her life.”
- Thank you, that really means a lot. I’m always a bit wary with the faith-based posts because I know not everyone can relate, but it’s such a huge part of my life, I can’t help but want to share it.

“more day in the life and dating!”
- I’ll be honest - the dating stuff is where I get the most private 😉 But I think there’s a way to talk about it without revealing too much, so I will work on that.

“Less workout updates more healthy food updates!”
- Awesome - was planning on it.

“more budgets! life in the city is expensive, and it would be interesting to know how you make it all work (fashion, food, rent, entertainment, etc.)”
- Cool suggestion! I’ll definitely put something together about that.

**********

Anything you’d like to add? Let me know in the comments section! And be on the lookout for a day in the life post soon 🙂

GML reader survey.

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Hey guys!

I thought it might be a cool idea to throw a quick survey your way. I’ve been blogging for over 5 years, and although I have an idea of what my readers like, I’ve never done an actual survey. Some might think this is weird because I should just blog about whatever I want to - and I do, for the most part - but it’s always been important to me to also share things that you guys enjoy and can relate to. So this will help 🙂

Click here to take the *anonymous* survey

Thanks in advance!

xoxo G

if i’m being honest.

by 33 Comments

This was going to be another style post. And I guess it still is, sort of.

That’s mostly because…well, it’s “easy” content. Shoot some photos, say what I’m wearing, and boom there’s a blog post.

Gracie Gordon

But let’s be real - GML was never and will never be a fashion blog. I’m too dramatic/too much of a rambler to keep things that focused (ha). Not to mention I just don’t have that fashion-passion that so many (amazing) bloggers have.

So here’s that honesty part. Sometimes - a lot of times, lately - I struggle with GML. I don’t do it for the income (anymore), and I don’t fit perfectly into a niche. I love blogging about food and fitness and being silly and being serious and makeup and *takes breath* - that can get a little confusing, no?

Gracie Gordon

I also have this problem where sometimes I like to be open and transparent, and other times I desperately crave as much privacy as possible (which makes blogging + working in social media an interesting gig, to say the least).

I’ve gone through phases like this in the past, and I always get over them…so apologies if this isn’t the first tantrum you’ve seen me, have, ha!.

Gracie Gordon

I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this, other than to lean on that open/transparent side with you all. I never want to forget that my readers (you!) are actual people who have followed my journey for a while - some of you since way back in 2010 - and I never want to take that for granted. You’re truly like friends to me!

I can tell you that I’m not going anywhere, but I may just test the waters with some new things here and there. I’ve always hated when blogging started feeling more like a job, so perhaps less “official” content and more rambling is in order 😉

Gracie Gordon

On that note, I might as well still share this looksie - no?

kimono - Necessary Clothing
tank - Target
jean shorts - Top Shop
necklace - Speakable
sunglasses - Quay Australia

Photos by Sam Ruby

**********

p.s. For those of you who love the “day in the life” recaps, I document that stuff more regularly on Instagram (@girlmeetslife) and Snapchat (@alagracie)!

**********

What’s your favorite type of blog to follow (fashion, health, beauty, etc.)?

life: unfiltered.

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The flat lay of an untouched latte, a journal with perfect handwriting, and pastel macarons.

The (confusingly high for a normal human arm) aerial shot of distressed jeans, a Chanel purse, and leopard flats.

The flat stomach and “dat ass” (from hundreds of squats, duh) while somehow maintaining a sweat-less forehead.

The “oh, you caught me hailing a cab!” while still looking effortlessly glamorous.

I think you know where I’m going with this. You’ve seen those images. I’ve seen those images. I’ve posted those images.

unfiltered || gracie gordon || girlmeetslife.com

Rewind to a few years ago when it became the norm to create a backlash against magazines for photoshopping models and portraying an unrealistic view of what women are supposed to look like. It resulted in tons of media coverage and campaigns like Dove Real Beauty, and others.

As I look at the evolution of social media over the past year or two, it seems there’s something even more dangerous emerging. There’s still this sense of “the glamorous life” of women, but this time it’s sneakier than ever.

It’s coming from us. Perpetuated by us, replicated by us, glorified by us.

There’s this endless cycle of well her life looks like this, so mine should too. She has these shoes (and hair and boobs and career) so I should too. The comparison trap is making us spin wildly into a whole new realm of unreality…an illusion of what our lives actually look (or should look) like.

Don’t think I’m not going to call myself out here. Bloggers are specifically guilty of this. But - pardon me as I give us/myself grace - it’s difficult to say that it’s anyone’s fault. It all sort of just happened, and it happened for what was originally an understandable and even admirable reason. Part of that backlash against magazines and the lives of models/celebrities is what resulted in popularity and loyalty toward bloggers. Bloggers became the new role models because they are real people. Relatable. Trustworthy. Had attainable lives.

*slows down and stops self from continuing a tangent*

With all of that being said, this comparison trap and the ability to “filter” our lives seems to be an unavoidable result of the social media age we live in today. I can’t say I hate it because HELLO. Blogger here. Social media manager here. *raises hand.*

It’s Instagram. It’s blogs. It’s Pinterest. It’s a whole WORLD of being able to pick and choose what parts of our lives we want to portray. We’re able to curate our lives to look exactly how we want them to.

And then it’s like, can you blame us? I mean, if we have the choice, why would we post the more unflattering parts of our lives? Crying, hurting, sick…that would be just weird.

BUT (and I guess this is where I’m going with this). Here and there, I think it’s really important to remember our humanity.

I’ve always felt like if I’m going to have a platform where people are looking at my life, I have a responsibility to be honest about what that really looks like. And it’s not perfect, to say the least.

Of course my life is full of incredible, memorable, beautiful moments. Most of what you’ll see me share on GML and social media are those moments.

But then there’s the unfiltered version.

There’s the multiple jobs I work to make a living, yet still always feel like I’m hitting a financial wall.

There’s the times I look in the mirror and examine whether or not I’m seeing new wrinkles, followed by researching all the best skin care creams in an effort to avoid them.

There’s the loneliness I often feel. The sometimes overwhelming and unfulfilled desire to give and receive love.

There’s the lavender essential oil I keep next to my bed because it helps calm me down when I feel anxious.

There’s the times I wake up in the morning hating how I acted the night before. My “partying” is harmless (compared to most of New Yorkers, at least), but I loathe the emptiness it exemplifies in my soul.

I live in the past. I live in the future.

I’ve made mistakes that make me cringe in denial. I’ve hurt others. I know the pain of a broken heart.

It’s killing me writing this post because it’s so pessimistic. Where’s the encouraging, uplifting message? Where’s the moral of the story?

I guess the raw-ness and the honesty IS the point. This is real life. You might be reading this and thinking you’re less or more screwed up than I am…I’m not sure. But my guess is that these are the types of thoughts that go through most of our heads, but social media allows us to portray the complete opposite.

I can only speak for myself. Despite what I may choose to share, and despite the many amazing things in my life, I’m still a broken girl. Jesus makes me whole. He puts me back together every single day. He has made me strong enough to write this post - exposing my weaknesses for the purpose of reaching at least one person who can relate.

It’s okay to be weak. In fact, embrace being weak. In our weakness we find His strength.

It’s okay to be imperfect. Perfection is a myth…a boring one, at that.

It’s okay to love blogs and social media! Like I said, I know this post seems pretty pessimistic. But at the end of the day I still LOVE what I do because it allows me to connect with people and have a creative outlet.

(Even if that means overused flat lays and selfies. Owning it.)

It’s okay if you don’t love the same things as everyone else. But it’s okay if you do.

Know yourself, be yourself, and don’t be afraid to show that person to the world. Saturated, contrasted, brightened, sharpened, or unfiltered.

unfiltered || gracie gordon || girlmeetslife.com