Stress. It’s one of those sneaky things that can actually rule your entire life without you even fully realizing it.
If I’m being honest, stress has been at the forefront of my life for longer than I’d care to admit. As someone who lives in New York City (not the most easygoing city in the world) and has been self-employed for most of my adult life (not exactly the “safest” gig out there) - I don’t really have the cards playing in my favor when it comes to living a stress-free life. And because of that, I’ve kind of given myself the excuse of living with stress without thinking there was anything I could do about it.
But here’s the thing I’ve been learning about stress - it actually has very little to do with your circumstances, and so much more to do with your mindset/attitude.
After a recent resurgence of stress in my life, I had what I’d like to call an “oh HELL no” moment where I decided I just don’t want to live that way anymore. Living under the fog of stress is not what I want for the rest of my adult life (which - let’s be honest - isn’t going to get any easier). I decided that instead of succumbing to stress as a “normal” part of life - I was going to fight it with everything I’ve got.
So here are some things that have helped me exponentially become free from stress, and I think they can help you do the same.
PRAYER.
This is absolutely the first and most important step in becoming free from the grips of stress. God makes it very clear that we are not to worry (Matthew 6) and to seek and pursue peace (Psalm 34:14), and I fully believe that He can deliver us fully from all stress, fear, and anxiety. Oftentimes it’s just a matter of asking Him.
Face the issue when (if) it actually happens.
For me, the main trigger of stress is worrying about something that actually has not even happened. Oftentimes we can dwell on those made up scenarios - no matter how likely or unlikely they may be - that they become a reality in our minds. This is definitely a constant mind shift that has to take place, but I’ve started to make a habit out of telling myself “if/when that scenario ever happens, then you’re allowed to be concerned. But until then…it’s not even a reality.”
Because here’s the thing - most of the time, dealing with the ACTUAL situation when it happens is much more manageable and not as painful as we make it up in our minds to be. So why not just face the issue when it comes, rather than let it paralyze us in fear and stress before it’s even a reality?
Don’t verbally affirm that you’re stressed.
The words we speak over our lives have more power than we realize. Instead of coming into agreement with stress, speak out AGAINST it! When I feel stress creeping in, one of the first things I do is open my journal and write down all of the things I’m thankful for. The power of gratitude beats the grips of stress every time.
Break the idea that stress is normal.
The lie that stress is a “normal” part of life - or even worse that it means we’re being RESPONSIBLE - is one of the biggest and easiest lies to believe. Especially as someone who is self-employed, I constantly find myself feeling like I’m not working hard enough if I’m not completely overwhelmed with stress.
A practical thing that has helped with this is tracking my daily tasks (I use Toggl.com). I can look back at the end of the day and see that I did in fact accomplish a lot, and stress doesn’t have to be a part of that equation.
Take one day at a time.
Of course life will always have times that you have to consider the future. But as much as you can, try to finish each day and be done with it. As previously mentioned - God tells us not to worry - but He specifically says not to worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34). His grace is sufficient for THIS day.
Unplug from technology when you can.
This is something I definitely need to work on 😉 It’s still a struggle, but I’d love to get to the point where I’m off my phone/computer for an hour or two in the morning and before going to bed at night.
Repeat those things every. Single. Day.
Here’s the thing about all of those tips/tools - they only work if you constantly remember and implement them in your life! Make it a daily habit to FIGHT stress before it creeps in. Be on the offense.
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Which of these tips resonate with you most? Anything to add?
I think this is my favorite post of yours thus far. There are so many ‘how to stop being stressed articles’ and ‘how to feel more rested’ and so on,and when I read the header I thought.. yeah yeah, same old same old (;) sorry! But this was really truly helpful. I love that you started it off with pray for deliverance. I am graduating with my Masters degree in three (!!) weeks and have yet to find a job. I have used the word ‘stressed’ probably thousands of times in the past two months. I am thankful to have read this today. I even made a few notes in my phone as a reminder 🙂 Thank you!
Wow Dani - thank you SO much for this comment! I totally know what you mean - so many articles about beating stress have tips like go for a walk, do yoga, etc. But I think the real issue is in our hearts and minds. That’s where the real transformative changes take place!
Huge HUGEEEE congrats on graduating soon! xoxoxo
This is absolutely wonderful - by far, the most ‘real’ post on how to rid your life of stress. I’ve been living a few too many months with stress and finally decided this month to take my life back. And if that means stepping back from certain things I had committed to, and staying home on the weekends for me, then that is what I will do. I love the suggestion of the app/site; I’m guilty of going through the day and by the evening, I’m saying “I did nothing today!”. But in reality, a lot has been accomplished, most of which I can be super proud of. Unplugging during work = best decision ever. I’ve been spending my lunches reading, journaling, or planning, and it has been my best habit change this month!
” if that means stepping back from certain things I had committed to, and staying home on the weekends for me, then that is what I will do.” <— YES. That is SO important too!
Thanks for this comment, Kelsey 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the post! xx
You are so welcome - again, thank you for sharing your thoughts on it. It took hearing things from a different perspective for it to settle in right.
This post came at a time when I really needed it. Thank you! 🙂 This is something that I had to learn myself recently, and it’s good to hear it again.
Ah, that makes me so happy. Thanks for letting me know, Lizzie <3
love that Emerson quote. i want to print it and frame it and put it on my wall.
so good isn’t it?!
Breaking the idea that stress=being responsible - that totally resonates with me!
However, I disagree with you on the “stress isn’t normal” part (I’m using “stress” and “anxious/nervous feelings” interchangeably here). I think stress is sometimes normal and helpful (you can learn from how you feel about a decision you just made or someone you just met, for example), other times harmful. So while you’re definitely right to say not to affirm (ruminate?) when you’re stressed, I don’t believe we should deny it either. I’m trying (and this is easier said than done!) to notice when I start to feel stressed, accept that this is how I’ve been feeling without judgement, and decide going forward to let it go.
THIS ! This is what I needed to read today . Working in foster care in NYC is super stressful , but I totally agree with you when you said that we spend a lot of time stressing about things that haven’t happened yet . I find myself doing this all the time . Thank you for putting it in perspective and I really need to ask God more often to lift my worries and to help me . Thanks Gracie !
What a fantastic post. I stumbled upon it in a post from Rebecca at Strength & Sunshine and it’s absolutely fabulous! And I couldn’t agree more.
This post was absolute solace for my wounded mind . I have been reading few of GIRL MEETS LIFE’S post and its been amazing how it impacted my brain … Thankyou so much for writing it and directing me towards positivity … Its so true that sometimes all you need is to read write words which makes sense out of your meaning less life this post has done that for me ..