I’ve got to be honest - I never thought I’d be one of those body acceptance blah blah blah people.
Haha. I think that came out wrong.
I guess what I mean is that I don’t find anything wrong with wanting to lose weight and even aim to be *gasp* skinny (yes, I said the S word). Those things seem to have become taboo in the blog world, and I think that’s unfortunate. Especially when the irony is that so many behind the “body acceptance” movement are actually the most restrictive.
WHOA. I digress. Writing a blog post at midnight will do that to ya. Where was I going with this again?
I remember. So, the other day when I was putting together my part 2 Vegas recap, I decidedly left out a few photos. And what did they all have in common?
I was in my bikini.
As someone who considers herself to be pretty damn confident, I was kind of bothered by this. Why did I care enough to purposefully leave out those photos?
After thinking it through, I came to a pretty solid conclusion. It’s not that I feel like I’m “fat” or unworthy. I don’t even think it’s necessarily an insecurity.
When it comes down to it, I think it’s an issue of pride. That my body isn’t what it used to be. It isn’t what I feel like it should be for how much I exercise. It’s that if I just waited a few more weeks, I’d have a better bikini body to show for.
And you know what? I had no idea that I felt that way until I wrote that post. Good ol’ GML, once again helping me dig up any issues left behind, ha.
So here I am, drinking the body acceptance Kool Aid, I suppose. But I’m totally down with that, because I’m in favor of FREEDOM in all shapes and forms. So these are a few revelations I’ve had over the past few days…
Why can’t my body look like it used to? Because it doesn’t. Because bodies change. Because I’m not 17 anymore - I’m a grown woman, and proud of it.
Why don’t I have washboard abs and a thigh gap? Because that’s not how I’m built. At least not right now.
Don’t get me wrong - I love fitness and aiming to be healthy. And do I still want to lose some weight? Yes, and that’s okay. But, as I focus on the changes I make in my body, I never want to forget that the real importance lies in the changes that happen in my heart. My soul. My character.
Yes, I want to feel confident in my own skin and proud of the work I’ve put into my fitness. But even more so, I want to be confident in the condition of my heart. In the destination of my soul. In the character I’ve built through overcoming hardship, surrendering my life to God, and becoming a woman that stands for more than just a “perfect” figure.
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I love this so much. I think it comes with our age, too. Upon 27, it was like a switch flipped in me and I no longer cared about the “perfect” body. I care less about what I look like and what people think about it. I’m convinced with age comes more security and confidence in who we are as people… but maybe that’s just me.
I love seeing a friend in this happy, secure place. And you’re beautiful, duh.
Agreed - it really does change with getting older! In the best possible way. I love that we always see eye to eye on everything 😉
You are stunning! Thanks for sharing! I recently noticed I was not posting pictures with my kids that I didn’t look “perf” in and then it hit me… It’s about the love not the looks.
Love this! I totally am anxious about being in a bikini and photos and all. You hit it on the nose when you said you “feel like you should look differently because you work out so much”. I think people will think I should have abs and look super fit because I am big in to health and fitness. I also need to remind myself that yes I’m not 19 anymore, I’m in my late twenties. My body is womanly and my metabolism isn’t young and able to bounce back from crap eating. You look great and I love that bikini!
exactly! thanks so much, girl 🙂 xx
Love this! You look beautiful 🙂 I actually haven’t worn a swimming suit in almost four years because I was so self-conscious. I have worn one a couple times this year at my gym in the hot tub and was so proud of myself. I still feel like I have a lot to work on, but I’ve come to terms with my body and I’m proud of what I’ve achieved so far!
Girl, you gotta get in that swimsuit! I’m learning more than ever that nothing in life is ever going to be that perfect completion we hope for, and while it’s okay to still aim for improvement, we can’t let it put a hold on living our lives to the fullest!
I cannot fathom why you wouldn’t walk around in a bikini all day 🙂 You are GORGEOUS!
heheh, you are sweet!! THANK YOU! <3
I love this post. Like you, I workout a lot. I just finished my fourth half marathon. But I love my wine and am a sucker for nachos so I’ve developed a booty and a stomach pouch. I used to be a big track athlete who was more comfortable in just a sports bra than a t-shirt. Now, I’m getting married in October and I’ve been dreading the honeymoon in a bikini. I’m still going to keep working to try and shred a few more pounds and tone up before then, but you’re right…I’m not in high school anymore. I need to accept that and be okay with my adult body. I’m working on it. Love your confidence. You look great!
Thanks for this comment! Glad you can relate (but DANG - 4 half marathons? Go girl!). Congrats on your upcoming wedding - can’t help but think you’re gonna rock it in that bikini on your honeymoon 😉
Gracie, I just can’t resist commenting on this because my heart is just full for you right now. I’m so glad you drank the Kool Aid. Because you’re right, its about so much more than how we look. I drank the Kool Aid too, because to me, it speaks to a deeper issue. We as women are bombarded with messages of what we are “supposed” to look like…washboard abs, thigh gap and much more. When we can’t live up the unrealistic standards we start to feel less than enough and that leads to so many other problems from body shaming to eating disorder. The truth is we are enough just because we are human beings and not to mention fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God. So I’m glad you drank the Kool Aid because you are not just enough, you’re stunningly gorgeous inside and out! You inspire me xoxo
Rachel, ah! Thank you so much for this comment <3 You're amazing. Miss you and hope you're doing well!! xx
Thanks for sharing this. I think you look great! We are truly our own worst critics - I took a few dressing room pics in bikinis that I was thinking of buying and proceeded to pick myself apart. Meanwhile, my husband saw them and said “Woah!” (in a good way). I told him that I just don’t love being exposed in a bathing suit and he commented “Who does?” We are all dealing with insecurities!
Isn’t it so funny how differently other people - guys especially - see us in our bikinis? 😛 Such a good point!!
It took me a while to figure out that it DOESN’T MATTER WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK, it only matters what GOD thinks! He created us all to be unique! As long as we are pleasing him and not HARMING our bodies, everything will be just fine!
🙂
p.s. you look incredibly beautiful!!!
AMENNNN!
Thanks girl 😉 You’re awesome.
More power to you! As we get older, we become wiser 🙂 and our bodies change. It’s part of life! I love your confidence and thanks for sharing!
I think you look great! And like you, I don’t really think there’s anything wrong with wanting to feel/look “skinny” (and I think you do, by the way!), but even if we don’t feel that way, we shouldn’t be afraid of wearing a bathing suit! I’m 29 weeks pregnant right now and still plan to rock a bathing suit this summer! Some people have told me, “I would never wear a bathing suit while pregnant!” — but why not??
YES!! I love that. Eeeee so exciting that baby is coming soon! 🙂
I love this post and every single comment on it. I really don’t have anything else to add because I echo it all! I turn 30 next week and it’s been ROUGH to realize this my body is taking control like, yeah, you aren’t a teen. You probly want to have kids in a couple years so let’s start prepping for that. I swear I don’t weigh much different than I have over past ten year but it’s in different places and makes my clothes fit different and I get so self conscious and just into a cycle of getting down on myself. I’ve been really trying to seek God’s will in this and learning to be proud of how intricately he designed me and that I’m made in his image…my goal is to live a life for his glory and that’s a focus on health not necessarily on how I LOOK. Anyway, all that to say great post, great thoughts, and I loved the comments too 🙂
“I’ve been really trying to seek God’s will in this and learning to be proud of how intricately he designed me and that I’m made in his image…my goal is to live a life for his glory and that’s a focus on health not necessarily on how I LOOK.” <----- THIS. Love. So awesome, thank you for this comment <3 And happy early birthday! You're going to kill it at 30 😉
Lovely post. I agree that bodies change and not everyone has washboard abs because some of us just are a bit curvy and it’s beautiful too. Skinny, muscular, curvy,…everything is okay until you accept it and know that you should be proud of how you look.
Plus you look FANTASTIC. You have not a THING to worry about!
hehe aw thank you, girl 🙂 xo
I love this. You are gorgeous and you’ve got such a great attitude about changing bodies and learning to accept what you have. You should flaunt that hot little body with pride!
I’m still learning to accept the new body I have after having a child. The fluctuating hormones and bad genetics have left me with a much bigger body than before my son was born. My hips are so much wider and I still carry around a few extra pounds. It’s hard to deal with because I do workout as often as I can and I struggle with not looking like I workout like I do. But it’s a part of life, bodies change after pregnancy, genetics happen (my whole family gains weight after pregnancy), and not everyone is lucky enough to bounce back to their tiny little self after going through such a huge change. I’m getting there slowly.
Thanks for this comment, Becky! Even though you’re going through those changes after having your baby (congrats!) it seems like you’ve got a great attitude toward it as well. Life changes, bodies change, and that’s okay! We all gotta work with what we got, ya know? With that being said - sending good + motivating vibes your way - nothing wrong with wanting to be a hot mama! 😉
LOVE! And I still think you look great <3
Preach it. I never thought I would be a body acceptance type woman, but I’ve actually accepted by keeping that mindset in place has not only helped me to be better about my own body, but to not stress about the bodies that surround me. It is all about the positive vibes. <3 And I LOVE your bikini.
We’re alike in that I never thought I would be one of those people preaching “health at any size” , “love yourself just as you are”, etc. but things really do change as you mature and figure out what’s truly important. I always thought that loving yourself as you are only applied to other people, but never to me. Thanks for addressing this issue and the reality that bodies do change as we get older, and that we shouldn’t be ashamed of having a woman’s body rather than a teenager’s. This is the first summer I’ve been truly confident and focused on my smile in pictures rather than on my (lack of) abs 🙂 Great post.
I totally hear you-I get this, and I appreciate it. I recently had an “ah ha” moment in thinking about my body. Do I love how I look right now? Not necessarily. But I’m also 27, not 21. I can also accept the now and still strive for looking and feeling a bit better. Not gonna let it stop me from enjoying pool days… I workout, but I’m not gonna obsess about how I look. Because you know what, no one else is. I’m confident that I am more than what I look like in a bikini. And for the record-you look great and confident in all of those pictures and I’m darn jealous of your trip 🙂
I like to tell myself that people are generally worrying about themselves vs. how you look, so I try not to think too much about it! If they do care what I look like, then that’s their problem!
really glad you shared this, Gracie. i can absolutely relate, as i’m sure so many women can, and it’s something i love about you and your blog — your transparency and your unwillingness to let anything slide, if you feel like it’s something that could touch other women or help them know they’re not alone in a struggle. so many of your words resonate with me - wanting to lose weight but at the same time, not having any confidence issues and being happy with who you are as a woman — there’s such a duality to this desire to be skinnier yet still wanting to enjoy life and loving yourself. thx for this post — you look great and happy and like you had an amazing vacation!
This is probably my favorite post. Especially with “it won’t look like how it did when I was 17”.. so freaking true. I’ve had to tell myself this numerous times. You are beautiful, inside and out! <3
Ah, thank you girl. That means a lot coming from you! xoxo
Hey! First, you look amazing! I rarely comment here (I’m 43 and probably above your demographic) but I love your blog. This post is GREAT! I also don’t have a problem with the “S” word and wanting to lose weight. I always tell myself that I will never let myself go but then I go and follow these dang super fit girls on instagram and I’m like what the heck am I doing wrong? Women really do beat themselves up. I wear bikinis because they are way more comfortable to me and it’s funny how we don’t think we should wear them unless we are 100% perfect. Seriously? I honestly don’t even know how not to think those things…
Good for you for posting those pics! I know how hard that had to be (and yes, you do look beautiful).
We should all give ourselves a break!
Thanks so much for this comment, Kimberley! I can definitely relate. I follow a lot of those girls too and can find them super inspiring, but then sometimes I’m like WHAT are they eating? lol.
I absolutely love this post - it’s one of my favorites. I gained 20 lbs this year and was really coming down on myself. For the last few months I’ve been doing Pilates and last month started eating healthy. I’ve lost some weight but am not as “skinny” as I would dream. I think what comes to play is the comparison game. I became incredibly insecure knowing id be frolicking with swimsuit models in Cali and this blog helped me so much. A) I’m not 21 anymore b) when I was 21 and skinnnnnny I felt like I could lose weight (oh the irony) and c) I’m healthy and doing my best and enjoying life.
Thanks for writing this. gosh I love you and you’re gorgeous and I’m glad we are besties
Yay thanks Jessi, that means so much coming from you! (you know I’ve been wanting to do more posts like this :)). You have been KILLING it with Pilates, it’s really awesome to see and inspiring. Remember when we were anti-exercise? hahaha. You’re going to look hawt in cali in your new bathing suits 😀 Love you so much
Going to hop on the bandwagon and say I f*ing love this post (excuse my French!) it couldn’t have hit home more. I always compare myself to my 17 year old pre-womanly body and it’s such crap. You rock Gracie.
hehe French accepted 😉 Thanks girl! xo
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Mariam says
Such a good post! I am 26 and I also don’t have the body I used to have. But it still bothers me 🙁
I wish one day I would be as confident as you are. Body acceptance can’t just happen when we wanted to happen right? I still have a lot to do to reach that level. But after reading your post, I feel like I can do this! Maybe I also can accept what I have, maybe.
Thank you Grace!
You CAN, girl!! Practice makes perfect. This might sound weird, but you almost have to forcefully tell yourself that you’re awesome and beautiful just the way you are..especially because (as cheesy as this sounds) true beauty comes from your heart! Seriously, so cliche haha but it really is the truth. And surround yourself with people who affirm those things in you <3
Mariam says
I will try my best! Thank you Gracie 🙂
I SOOOO needed this! Funny how God works - I am going out on a bachelorette party this weekend on a boat and instantly got self conscious on how I shouldn’t go because Im not in shape enough for a bikini…. I will wear one and I WILL HAVE FUN!
and just ditto to what everyone else said about you. Gorgeous and should probably wear a bikini all day every day! lol 🙂 xo
Thank you so much for this post. I criticize and nit-pick and analyze all pictures of myself, especially ones when I am in a bathing suit The problem is, usually I think I look ok, then when I see a picture, I get so discouraged…
I also feel that as women, we aren’t “allowed” to say that we are happy with the way we look. I always feel as though it comes out as being conceited or as though I’m just giving up if I’m not striving for a “better” body. I wish I could just say “I’m ok with the way I am”, even if that’s not a six-pack and I’m a little bloated (because I’m lactose-intolerant but love ice cream). Deep down, if I have to choose between a fantastic supper out with friends or a six pack, I would always pick my friends. I think I need to get my negative attitude and just be proud of everything I can do.
Thanks for the attitude adjustment, Gracie. Very much appreciated and needed.
*get rid of my negative attitude
Sorry, got a little passionate and didn’t proofread at all…
So glad you were able to write this post - I know reaching this point of body acceptance can be hard and it’s certainly a constant struggle for me, back and forth between the part of me that knows it doesn’t matter and that nagging voice that says it does! For me, becoming a Christian made a HUGE impact! God doesn’t care if I’m carrying a few extra lbs and neither should anyone else, especially me. My purpose on this earth is SO much more than that!
I also just wanted to say, in a friendly way(!!), I’d be cautious about the overgeneralization at the beginning of the post (most behind “body acceptance” are the most restrictive).
YES - totally agree that my faith makes a huge difference. Definitely helps put things into more perspective!
As far as what I said at the beginning of the post - I actually thought for a while if I wanted to remove that or leave it included (just so you don’t think it was some sort of flippant comment). I don’t think it was too much of a generalization (I said “so many,” not most), and it is something that I feel strongly about. I really make it a point to be responsible as a blogger for what I put out there, especially when it comes to health-related topics (and I know I’m not perfect by *any* means) but I do often wish other bloggers would do the same.
Not only is this post AWESOME- the comments made me SO happy!! Gracie, you look amazing because you’re so beautiful inside and out! Thank you for sharing this post because it totally hits what so so so many of us feel!
gahhh ok ok two comments in one night! you are preaching to the choir right now!! I can absolutely relate to the feeling of your body changing and it’s this weird place of acceptance and confusion. Like, “Hey, I really like this me. This me feels strong. Happy. Graceful. Real.” and then there’s the stupid voice that’s like “If only you worked out more, if only you ate and drank less of that, if only you did what you used to…” “Why don’t your jeans fit?”
Well ya know what, we’ve earned every bit of the pieces we’ve ADDED to ourselves. ABUNDANCE. Freedom. Balance. Truly, things I actually wouldn’t change if I could.
That’s the life I’m hell-bent on pursuing. Not one of restriction, deprivation, or favoring diets over people. I’m thankful God is fueling not just my body, but my mind, heart, and soul each day.
much love,
Kaitlyn
@kaithiltz