And, unfortunately, living in one of the most-populated and most competitive cities in the world doesn’t make this task much easier. From personal experience, though, I can attest that it is in fact possible to move to New York without knowing a single person and still finding ways to have a significant circle of friends within less than a year. Here’s how.
making friends in nyc.
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1. at work.
As someone who works from home, I personally don’t have the opportunity to make friends at my job, but I have met a ton of great people through my friends’ jobs. Take as many opportunities as you can to get to know your co-workers – get lunch with them, go to happy hour, etc. Even if you don’t become BFFs with Frank in the cubicle next to you, you never know if you could become friends (or maybe even date?) someone from his own social circle.
2. through your hobbies.
Are you into exercising? Join a gym.
Have a passion for helping people? Start volunteering somewhere.
A foodie? Take a cooking class.
…etc., etc., etc.
New York is one of the easiest places in the world to find people with the same interests as your own, and there always ways to get involved with them. The important thing is to search out these options rather than waiting for them to just come to you.
3. when you’re just…out.
I’ve found that some of the best places to meet people in NYC are the ones that you just naturally frequent – the grocery store, the subway, your favorite cafe, bars/clubs, and so on. The key to this, though, is you have to be open and available to meeting people. Take your headphones off, put a smile on, and be willing to strike up a conversation if it presents itself.
Side note: for those of you who like the nightlife, baby, consider getting in touch with promoters. Some of them can be kind of lame, but others are pretty legit and do their job right. It’s not always easy to jump into the nightlife world if you don’t know anyone, so going out with promoters can be a good place to start.
4. through social media.
Welcome to 2012, where there are more ways than ever to get in touch with people. I suggest hitting up Facebook or Twitter and seeing which of your friends or acquaintances now live in New York. And if they don’t, they probably know someone who does. Don’t be shy about it – most people are more than happy to help…and everyone loves a good ol’ Direct Message every once in a while anyway.
5. at church.
When I moved to New York and didn’t have any friends, church was the first place I turned to. Not only was the best place to find people who share the same faith as me, but I knew it was also my best chance at forming real, sincere relationships. It can be easy to get lost and feel very alone in New York, so I knew I needed friends who I could hang out and have fun with, but also ones that support and genuinely care about me. Now I consider the friends I’ve met through church as family…people that I’m in it with for the long haul.
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Speaking of church, if you’re in New York and looking for somewhere to go this Easter Sunday, you should definitely visit Liberty Church. I’ll be at the 7pm service, so let me know if you’d like to come and I’ll save you a seat 🙂
I’d say these tips can be used for anywhere you live, actually. Which do you agree with most? Anything to add?
I went to school in DC but after graduation, I was pretty much the only one in my circle who stayed in the area. These are all great tips! Some of my very good friends are people I met just by “being out” at my favorite places already!
I definitely agree with church. My husband and I just moved to Atlanta, and finding a home church was our top priority. We’re already starting to meet people by getting involved with serving at the church. It’s great to be able to feel like you’re helping in some way, while also meeting great people!
I think this post is so spot-on. It’s hard to make friends as adults, especially in a new city. And I think one thing is that it just takes time to form those bonds. But as long as you put time and energy into it, they can happen!
Gosh it really is hard finding new friends as adults! I have moved alot (grew up in a military family) and the older I got the harder it got. You mentioned some great ways to Meet people 🙂 i think starting with church is fantastic! Typically Churches have different groups and organizations for different interests.
I love NYC…I’m here visiting right now. And it can be hard to meet people I’m sure! But I love it here and could easily shift from LA in a second.
Kudos to you for making the move!
I liked this post, but it isn’t really easy making a friendship out of thin air in a coffee shop. I am from the Philly area and went to college here, but most of my college and high school friends have moved away back to their original areas or to get new jobs. It’s really hard to meet people randomly. I think it’s a bit easier through friends of friends or at places like the gym. I’m taking a new workout class where everyone partners up for the whole class, so it’s a great way to pick a partner around your age and break the ice. Otherwise going up to someone running on the treadmill might be a bit weird. Sometimes I think it’s easier to date or get boyfriends than to make new, lasting friendships because people who aren’t in relationships are looking when sometimes others aren’t open to making new friends if they already have a good circle.
You’re right - it’s definitely easier to meet potential dates at random places like coffee shops. But if you ask me - never say never! I’ve struck up a handful of conversations with other girls this way and know girls who met each other in line at Macy’s (haha). I guess my point isn’t necessarily to seek out these random places specifically to meet friends, but just to be *open* to the fact that you never know where you might meet a new person!
I think you should do a post on perfecting ways to meet guys at a gym. Never quite understood how that works out. (Pun intended).
I also would like to know how to move beyond the “chatting” or acquaintance stage to actually hanging out together as friends. I always feel awkward asking girls to hang out, but maybe that’s just me.
And the promoter thing is new to me. What is that, exactly?
-Gabrielle
Well…I might not be the best person to ask about meeting guys specifically in the gym because I haven’t been to one in quite a while, haha. But I think that simply smiling at guys (no matter what environment you’re in) is oftentimes enough to get them to approach you! Sometimes guys just need that little hint that you think they’re cute, haha.
As far as moving past chatting into actually hanging out, I think it’s as simple as saying “we should hang out some time!” and exchange numbers. It might feel awkward to you, but the truth is that most people won’t be weirded out by that at all (I know I wouldn’t!). You could also friend/message them on facebook if you don’t feel comfortable asking for their number.
Promoters put together a group of people to bring to clubs and “take care” of them (table, free drinks, etc.) - they get paid by the venue for doing so.
Hope that helps!! 🙂
I’m moving to NYC permanently next week, and this is probably my biggest fear. The idea I being alone scares me so I will def. put this all into use! Thanks!!
Definitely agree about the church thing, as nerve-wracking as it can be at first, it’s always been my first port of call when I move to a new city.
Just a question about Christian dating, I won’t be offended if you don’t want to answer! You talk about meeting guys and dating, but would you date a non-Christian? Or are you open to date anyone, and then only get more committed if they’re Christian? Not sure if they came out right, but I hope you know what I mean!
Hey Amanda!
It’s sort of tough to answer that question because it really does depend on the person. For the most part, I’m open to dating anyone, but for a few reasons would only be in a committed relationship with someone who had the same believes/values as me 🙂
I’m a little late on the draw here, but thanks so much for this post. I’m moving to Chicago in a few months, and while Chicago definitely is not New York, I think it still has that big-city-intimidating-oh-my-gosh-how-am-I-ever-going-to-meet-people-here feel to it. It’s definitely one of my biggest stressors when I think about moving, so thanks for the tips!
Chicago is an amazing city! How exciting! I’m so glad these tips were helpful for you, and good luck with the big move 🙂
Just saw this! love it
When I moved to Memphis by myself after grad school, I seriously felt like I was trying to ‘pick people up’ just trying to make friends. It is hard, embarassing, and totally worthwhile! Great post idea!
Olivia says
Okay, I’m going out on a limb here and maybe I’m a big loser and pretty late on this post but I found you while googling how to meet people in NYC! I live on Long Island, but I feel like people really aren’t very friendly here! I know NYC has a rep for people being unfriendly, but I have to say when I go into the city people are much nicer than they are on LI! It was so much easier when I was a kid on the playground just wanting to build a sand castle, but now that I’ve moved so far away from home (originally from Florida) I must say it’s very difficult to meet people. My boyfriend is very outgoing and can talk to anyone and I feel like I’m doing something wrong cause even when I strike up a conversation people simply just respond and move on their merry way. I would make friends with people at work but most of them are in their 50s and I’m only 22! Thanks for your advice. I’m trying to get out there and meet people but it’s a lot easier said than done! I’m a new follower! I really enjoy your blog 🙂
Hey Olivia! I’m glad you found this post helpful 🙂
I actually lived in LI before moving to the city, and I’d have to agree that people are easier to talk to in the city. I think it has to do with the fact that people in LI are more set in their ways (not necessarily in a bad way!) - like they have probably lived there for a while, if not their whole lives. Whereas, in the city, most people are not actually *from* there and are more open to meeting new people.
From what I can tell you seem like a really nice girl! So just keep being yourself and putting yourself out there 🙂 Good luck! Gracie
HY says
Just like you Olivia, I found Gracie’s blog while googling ‘how to meet people in NYC’ 🙂
Gracie, Thanks for the tips!
Ah, yay! You’re very welcome 🙂 🙂
Natasa says
hehe i looked up how to meet friends i new york too.
I guess no one is alone on this one.
Thanks! 🙂
Erica says
Found your blog while looking up ways to meet more people in NYC. I’ve been in NYC for a while, but I always like to meet new people and I’ve been looking for a a church to plug into. I’m going to check out Liberty Church.
Justin says
This is super helpful. One concern I have though, is that, as a 25 year old guy in NYC, any girl I try to befriend will automatically think I’m hitting on them - when my priority is really just to increase my social circle. How can one “close the deal” (exchange contact info, etc.) without the person thinking I’m asking them out?
I met a super cool couple last week, but after the guy left, I wasn’t sure how to close the (friendship) deal without seeming creepy.
hmm that’s a good question. i think you did the right thing by not getting the girl’s contact info because that might rub her boyfriend the wrong way, and there goes that potential friendship. personally, for the most part when trying to make new friends i stick with the same gender, and through those friendships will end up meeting more of the opposite sex in their social circle. it really is a tricky thing trying to genuinely start friendships between guys and girls because - let’s be real - most of the time that’s not both of their intentions! hope that helps answer your question!
Amanda says
Hi Justin! I just moved to NYC this past week for work and know zero people here. I was thinking the same thing (“How do I meet guys who I just want to be friends with?”). I would love to meet you & potentially be JUST your friend 🙂
Sur says
Hi Amanda,
I am new to NY, with no friends here. It kinda gets weird to have no one along after after-work hours and specially on the weekends. Will you like to get in touch?
I am here for a couple of months.
Rolando says
Very interesting post! Im a club promoter and i like to always make new friends! so if you guys enjoy going out to clubs i will be more than happy to help you!
Biaul says
Am glad I found this. Am planning to move to NYC mid next year. Hoping to meet friends in NYC before then . Similar people can mail me missbiaulxoxo@gmail.com
Francis says
hey everybody am Francis and based on what i have heard about NYC i think am down for it. am planning on travelling to NYC by the end of this year or early next year but i really need a friend there since this will be my first visit to New York. I am a friendly guy and i accept friendship from anybody no matter the age sex color or class, hit me up on Skype @ francis.bangura6, facebook at Bangura Francis or email francisbnagura@gmail.com 🙂
Michelle says
Hey girl! Thank you for this post! I am moving to nyc in august and I only know one person there ! It’s scary to think I am moving to different state with no family so these tips can help me make new friends !
Aneli says
Hey guys !
I’m very glad I found this post. I’m just feeling so lost and lonely lately, so I figured I leave a message here 🙂
I moved to NYC 3 years ago and all my friends were Europeans who had to go back home and I stayed here, because I met someone special 🙂 I love my boyfriend, but I just miss the girls time ! I love going out clubbing, love brunches , painting and pretty much enjoy working out.
I currently live in Brooklyn Williamsburg and it’s been so so hard to make new friends. I always skype my close friends, but I wish they were here to share fun times.
So if there is someone else who feels lonely and want’s to go for a coffee and support each other , feel free to message me to FB or email me:
aneliparman@gmail.com
Have a great day guys !
sean says
Hi Aneli,
I just moved here and feel the exact same way. I know you posted this a few months ago but I was wondering if you were successful in finding friends and how you went about doing so?
Being alone in the city is scary when you have weekends free and you wake up without any plans
Sean
Malikzai says
I want to stay for awhile in New York, so I want to have a friend to stay with and learn from her about the city.
LCakess says
Glad I’m not the only one! I’ve been here 8 months and it’s been especially hard to make girlfriends. It’s so much easier to meet guys or get dates (Guys are so open to exchanging info and getting together). I’m not shy to ask for numbers, but I always feel like I’m pestering or it’s a charity case. I just want to meet some girls like me!
We could SHOP, brunch, run/work out classes, get mani/pedis, or go out partying. It would be sooo much fun to have a girlfriend to come over and get ready with (I have a big apt all to myself!), go out and just explore the city. I’m a singer, I go to church, and I’m obsessed with photos!
Find me on Facebook.com/LCakess, IG:LCakess or email me laura@martinicorner.com
Are you still following this post Miss Gracie? Sorry if I spelled that wrong, I’m pretty much blind…
I actually don’t even live in NYC, but I am sure looking to talk to make a friend there. Hence my Google search for “How to meet people in New York City”. (Shoulder tap… Wanna talk?) That’s a lot less creepy than Wanna play, I hope. Either way, Strangers are the best sometimes. Hit me up at that email that is hopefully only visible to you. If you do “wanna talk” that is.
There’s one to add to the list. Search out a blogger. Nice domain name by the way.