Last week I shared why I think three isn’t a crowd when it comes to going out. Now let’s go over some do’s and don’t’s, shall we? Starting with…
what every girl should bring to the club.
Guys have it so easy. All they have to carry into the club is their phone and (fully loaded) wallet. But girls? We have to put a little more thought on what we bring along with us for a night out. It’s unfortunate that these reminders even have to be made because they’re all pretty basic, but I can’t tell you how many girls I see lacking these nightlife necessities.
1) a coat. Girls, there is no excuse in the world to not bring a coat when the weather is below about 55 degrees. When you walk up holding onto your own arms for dear life and apparently convulsing…it’s just awkward. Not a good look. So do us all a favor and acknowledge that a $4 coat check > your daily latte.
If you’re insistent on traveling sans a coat for your night out, at least consider bringing a bomber jacket or blazer that can easily be left at the table (but don’t be surprised if it has disappeared by the end of the night. Just saying).
2) the right shoes. I understand that beauty can sometimes be pain, but walking like a (crippled) baby deer is not doing you any favors. When you walk/wobble like that, no one’s going to be looking at your shoes anyway. So stop being concerned about what shoes you’re wearing and start thinking about how to not look like a hot mess. (tip: super-skinny stilettos can get boring anyway, why not try something more fun like these booties?)
If you just can’t bring yourself to part from those not-so-comfortable but oh-so-fierce pumps of yours, consider throwing a pair of easily collapsible flats into your purse to be safe. Those will come in handy when your friends are hell bent on walking rather than cabbing it to the next club.
3) a flirting accessory. We’ve all heard about wearing a “conversation piece,” but have you heard about the importance of having a flirting accessory? Whether you’re trying to meet new guys or just get some drinks bought for you, the right flirting accessory can make miracles happen. For example, my BFF Jessi has had literally hundreds of guys approach her just to say “they LOVE her unique glasses.” I’ve seen other girls take advantage of the flirting accessory – whether it’s obnoxious earrings or an attention-grabbing graphic tee- and the success rate is pretty darn high. Bet you can’t guess what mine is…
4) your credit card. “But when I go out I don’t spend a single dime!” Okay, we get it. Adorable. Go ahead and rely on your table service, but my friends and I would rather not risk having to stand drink-less at the bar looking like desperate golddiggers. Not to mention that no one’s going to feel sorry for you when you’re tripping on cobblestones sans a Sugar Daddy trying to find a free ride home.
…think you got all of those? Okay, great. Now moving on to:
what girls definitely shouldn’t bring to the club.
The only thing worse than forgetting to bring certain key necessities to the club is bringing the wrong ones along with you. Although you should never go without the simple basics like a coat and a credit card, less is more when it comes to what you carry around during your night out. Some of the things girls carry along with them can be so distracting that they warrant an on-the-spot intervention, so read carefully to spare yourself from being an offender of these all too common girl accessories.
Leave the big camera at home. In the age of the cell phone camera, pulling a normal-sized camera out of your purse and snapping away is way too reminiscent of freshman year of college (which, clearly you have the pictures to prove it). Remember that not everyone is comfortable with having photos taken of them by strangers, and a non-stop camera flash is just plain annoying. Even cell phone pictures should be kept to a minimum – and unless you’re actually a photographer – stop trying to snap proof that you’re having fun and just…have it!
Ditch the massive handbag. An awkwardly large purse begs the question, did you just come from running errands? What’s next – are you going to pull out your keys with a million key chains on it? There’s something bizarre about the bond girls form with their handbags. It’s understandable that that’s where you keep all of your daily must-haves, but you most likely won’t be using 99% of them when you’re at the club anyway.
Make the investment in a small shoulder bag – one that’s perfectly sized to fit the necessities (and only the necessities) for your night out.
Spare us from your boyfriend issues. We’ve all experienced that night out where a girl friend is trying to drown her relationship sorrows in an endless stream of cranberry vodkas. Whether you’re drinking yourself into oblivion or breaking conversation every 5 minutes to talk about what he just tweeted, try to stop and remember that you’re totally being “that girl.” In the same way that it’s important for girls to be there for each other when going through tough times, don’t ruin the night for everyone when you could have just said you needed a girl’s night at home instead. If you do still decide to go out, make an effort to enjoy the night and cry it out tomorrow in a more appropriate setting.
Lose the bachelorette party props. Plain and simple: sashes, veils and inappropriately-shaped straws just don’t belong in the club. While celebrating your upcoming nuptials in NYC can make for a great pre-wedding night out, there’s something about those props that make girls become 10x more ridiculous (and not the “good” ridiculous). You can still make it known that you’re the bride-to-be, but lose the weird crown and try something classy like a white lacey dress. If you’re idea of a bachelorette party is simply incomplete without the traditional props, get it out of your system at a fun dive bar before heading to the club.
The CEO from your west-coast office – proceed with caution. Sometimes even the best of relationships with a promoter or doorman can’t keep your boss from having to pay for a table. Unless you have a secure plan in place for the night, you could be setting yourself up for failure. Let’s be honest, no one wants to be the person who couldn’t deliver their boss’ long-awaited crazy night out in the NYC. To be safe, give your boss and promoter friend the heads up beforehand, and then…you know…just keep the fact that your company brought in x-billion last year on the down-low.
So there you have it – just about all the advice you need to avoid being “that girl” at the club. Now party on, clubrats, and remember not to take yourself too seriously, okay?
What’s your biggest pet peeve that girls do/bring/say/wear during a night out?
I don’t really go out anymore, but I also was never a fan of the bachelorette gear. I had to do it for a couple of girlfriends because it was THEIR special time, but I always felt ridiculous!
HAHA, oh my these made my Friday! Love them all, and definitely have learned a few of these myself the hard way (oo the bigger the bag, the better … not). Have a fabulous weekend!
All over leopard print! A little goes a long way!
hahaha AGREED
I’m sorry but this blog has been my pet peeve lately. It’s just become a little catty and snob-ish for me…just wanted to leave an honest comment before i completely stop reading it.
So sorry you feel that way, Leigh! This particular post is supposed to be sarcastic and snarky. Are there any other examples you can point me to so I can make sure I don’t come off as snobby in the future? (seriously – that’s the last thing I want to convey!). Thanks girl. – G
Don’t get me wrong, a lot of your posts I do agree with! But I guess your posts on “things NOT to wear” “things i will never do/don’t like” just seem to come off wrong if that helps at all. Like a jealous/snobby girl instead of the fun gracie when I first started reading the blog!
I have to say I agree with you, Leigh.
They seem to have started shortly after Freely Be got up & running. I don’t know if there’s a reason for that, but…
I’ve been reading for almost a year and I’m not to the point where I will stop reading. But it does seem like there has been a huge increase in posts like this that maybe are supposed to be sarcastic & snarky, but end up coming off a lot differently after so many in a row.
These ones are sounding much more like jaded, holier-than-thou, stereotypical New Yorker posts.
I miss the humble, grateful, excited about life GML posts! I hope you will get back to them, Gracie.
Hi Mya!
First of all, I want to thank you for this comment. As someone who sees myself blogging long term and will continue to go through life changes (and thus blog changes) I always want feedback from my readers! And yours is thoughtful and constructive, which I really appreciate.
I can see where you’re coming from – this post definitely has a different tone than my blog posts usually do. The main reason for that is that it was originally written for an NYC lifestyle website (Guest of a Guest), so it’s more of an article/column than a blog post. But, because it’s content that I’m proud of – including the sarcasm/snarkiness (which, I’m actually trying to make fun of the “jaded New Yorker” stereotype) – it’s something I wanted to share on GML. I really just love writing and using many different voices, and I like to share all of it on my blog…my “platform,” so to speak.
GML isn’t going to turn into a nightlife blog or anything like that, but it is going to continue to follow my life and whatever that may bring, which will probably always be changing. What won’t change, though, is the humble, grateful, and excited-about-life girl behind it. I’ve never been more thankful for my life and the amazing, supporting people I have in it! And I definitely always want to be conveying that, so once again, thanks for the feedback.
Sorry for the novel, ha! Have a rockin’ weekend. – Gracie
girls who slip and fall but still don’t think that’s a sign that it’s time to go home
hahaha, have seen that happen all too often….
I love this post/all of your tips! I’ll admit that I have been guilty of the no coat thing in the past (now I have no idea why/how I actually did that… I HATE being cold!)
I would say my biggest pet peeve in this instance is probably when girls where inappropriate outfits that they cant walk/move in and are completely inappropriate to the weahter. Maybe its just me but I can’t understand the whole skintight/5 inch heel look when its 10 degress outside! I agree with you that it is not cute/not normal to be convulsing in your outfit.
I have so many of these, Gracie! PS. My 2 best girlfriends loved your “when 3s not a crowd” post. When the 3 of us go out there is never drama!
My pet peeve? Girls who think clubbing is a science. It’s not. Go out with your friends, wear something you like, have fun. No need for deliberate “flirting accessories” or anything like that.
I hear ya, Jen! This post was all in good fun. And, like I said at the end of the post, “…remember not to take yourself too seriously, okay?”
For my bachelorette party my sister had the BEST idea! A play off of How I Met Your Mother. She made pink shirts for all the girls that said “Have you met Marlow?” and then she made me a shirt in black that said “Hi I’m Marlow and I’m getting married!” I honestly didn’t think I would enjoy wearing something “special” when we went out for the night, but it was SO MUCH FUN! We did score tons of free drinks (maybe more than I should have had) and had fun conversations with folks (girls and guys). And yes, it was tiara free
Why dont you write a guide for dudes about going out without going broke.
I swear, as a single man in NYC its either clubs with super hotties that I can’t get into, or overworked professionals that realize the wage gap is a myth and stopped paying attention to their appearance in order to have a career (aka “Sixes and the City”)
I hear ya…nightlife is a whole different ballgame when you’re a guy. Can’t say I’m an expert in that area, though, (hence the GIRL meets life, ha). You should check out the articles here: http://hautenightlife.com. He’s got great tips/advice articles for dudes!
This was a great read! Thanks to @NYNightlife I was able to find you & your blog, I will keep coming back for more that’s for sure! & as for my Pet Peeve well I guess girls that are insecure & make it their mission to bump into you & ruin your night ..like come on that’s some college shit right there, we are all out here trying to have fun stop with your HATERADE!
Gaahhhhh, I HATE the gaudy, tacky, incredibly ridiculous bachelorette props. What are girls thinking!?!??! I see it all the time here too, and it kills me.
These are all SO true. Wearing a coat and the right shoes are two absolutely crucial things in my book. I’d rather not be the girl walking down the sidewalk barefoot and freezing. Nooo thank you.
My biggest pet peeve? When girls SHOW UP to the club backed-out drunk, and do-so on purpose. I have a few acquaintances that set a goal to be “shit-faced” before the night even begins. It’s so irritating.
Girls who have far too much to drink and cry…not a good look! Have a fab weekend!
Hi Gracie,
I have to admit this post does seem a bit….vain. I totally get that some girls, well, choose to do things that maybe not each of us would choose. Some people like to wear jeans and a baggy t, some like to wear short shirts and tanks and 6 inch heels. But, does it really bother you what other people do? Doesn’t it all come down to one thing? Everyone is just trying to go out, and have a good time. “To each his own”, right? I’m not sure who made you the police of the NYC nightlife, and I dont’ think you are pretending to be, but this post surely conveys a different attitude than I think you really want/really possess in real life. As a fellow Christian, I don’t always agree with other people’s choices, but I keep myself happy by knowing it probably makes them happy. If a bunch of corny bachelortette stuff makes a celebrating bride to be happy, who cares? If someone loves their oversize bag, let them bring it to the bar, and let it not bother anyone else. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I know you don’t actually mean this in real life, and that this probably doesn’t convey what you believe in yourself, but as a writer you have to remember that peopel take your writing for who you are! So, just be careful
Hey Heather! Thanks for this comment. I seriously mean it when I say that I’m so lucky to have readers who leave me constructive criticism (rather than thoughtless negative comments)…
I definitely see where you’re coming from and agree with what you said about basically “who really cares what other people want to do?” I’m with you on that. I think the thing I should have been more clear about was the context of this post. It was originally written as an article for an NYC lifestyle website, and it’s meant to be somewhat satirical…and also geared to people involved in NYC nightlife (which is sort of a world of its own, haha). So these aren’t really tips/advice for girls overall. I also “cleared up” some other things that you mentioned in my comment reply to Mya (see above).
Thanks again for the feedback, and I hope you can sort of see where I’m coming from now! Have a great weekend
– G
LOVE YOUR BLOG Gracie!
As a fellow New Yorker, I love to read about what you are up to.
Your blog does not come across as snobby at all. I think some of these haters are just jealous that you have a more exciting life than they do.
Im so happy that you found girlmeetslife out of girlmeetshealth. I think that girlmeetslife is so much “healthier” as a whole. Your voice/writing style really shines in girlmeetslife.. and we all dont have to be obsessed with pictures of what we had for lunch or dinner. Sometimes its better for your mental health to skip the gym and go to happy hour with your girlfriends!
Everything in moderation
Thank you so much for this comment, Christie! It is seriously such an encouragement and means a lot to me. And yes – I feel a million times “healthier” than I ever have
Hey Gracie, just wanted to leave a comment as a longtime readers (and I don’t think I’ve ever commented before). I think you’re doing a great job with the blog- going out in NYC is something you know about, so by all means you should share your “lessons learned” with others. I loved this post- a small side bag is one of my favorite purchases in the past year, totally solves the problem of wanting to dance but not wanting to leave your purse unattended. Side bag where have you been all my life?!
Kathryn, thank you for this! I know my life/blog has changed a lot since moving to NYC, so it’s good to hear that a longtime reader approves
You rock. xo G
hahah the coat thing kills me. There have been countless times when my gfs have brought their coats only to “hide them” among the sea of bodies. Then when they go to find them at the end of the night they are mysteriously gone. GASP?!
like what…don’t be stupid.
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