If you haven’t noticed, I don’t talk much about my personal life when it comes to relationships. And when I say relationships, I mean it entirely in regards to the opposite sex. Men. Boys. Hotties. Sexist pigs. Whatever you want to call them.
For the most part, that’s not going to change. I am, however, going to start addressing certain aspects of, oh how do I say it…romantic endeavors?
Without going into too much detail, let’s just say that I’m not your first-rate dater. I was in a pretty serious relationship from age 17-22, and at this point in my life the barista at Starbucks is the closest I get to anyone of the opposite sex. See? I told you my life was exciting.
I’m not entirely inexperienced when it comes to the dating game, though, and I like to think that I have some decent guidelines for “weeding out the bad,” so to speak. Here are some of the things that I personally think/practice (for the most part) when it comes to dealing with dudes.
5 reasons I probably won’t like you.
1. Don’t Facebook message me. Don’t text me (at least not as a first means of contact). Don’t have your friend ask my friend if I think you’re cute. DO call me. If you like me enough, you’ll get the guts to call. And yes – it is your responsibility to call me before I call you. I understand that some guys get nervous, but if you ever needed confidence, now would be the time to find it.
2. Maybe this is old school, but I prefer when a guy takes me on an actual date. None of this “let’s meet up with a bunch of friends at the bar” or “meet me at so-and-so’s house party” will suffice. What happened to good old-fashioned one-on-one dates? And sorry, but how am I supposed to get to know you by watching you play 8 rounds of beer pong with your college buddies? I’m not saying we have to go to a 5-star restaurant, but a meal and a walk through town certainly wouldn’t hurt.
3. Watch your language. Potty mouths are one of my biggest turn offs…and reason #95 I can tell that you probably want to remain 21 for the rest of your life.
4. Don’t be obnoxious. I’m all about cute teasing here and there, but seriously making fun of the girl you’re supposedly interested is not going to get her to like you. There’s a big difference between being a “mysterious bad boy” and being a straight-up jerk.
5. Be driven. If you’re not naturally a go-getter, that’s fine by me. But please don’t be surprised if I don’t want to go on a second date because of it. I’ve been raised by a very hardworking father, so when it comes to a possible significant other, I won’t settle for anything less.
Shew, that was kind of brutal, huh? 
Look, I’m not saying that those are necessarily deal breakers (let’s not judge a book by its cover, here), but I’ve found that those are generally indicators that we’re just not going to hit it off.
Still - I know what you’re thinking, and yes – I am picky. I’m perfectly okay with that. Maybe since we’re in the 21st century I should loosen my rules just a bit. But…..nahhh.
- What are some of your turn-offs when it comes to the opposite sex?
- Which of my 5 reasons do you agree/disagree with the most?
Haha LOVE IT! It’s so hard to meet a guy these days.. and a guy that fits those criteria? Scary lol Especially the phone call thing.. everyone just texts now. Is it that hard to pick up a phone and give someone a call? I think not. But having high standards is important.
I think its AWESOME that you have this “list”. I had one too when I met the love of my life when I was 20! We’ve been living together for 5 years and dating for 6! He even met some of my silly criteria I had ( I was only around 18 afterall when I made up this list) such as being able to speak french! Don’t worry though that when you do find him, you might wish that you would have added a few things to that list! lol!
I think this is a great list. Call me old school-but men should act like gentlemen and should treat a lady right, in my opinion. This would include all the things on your list-especially taking you on a real date. And driven women tend to like driven men—so I like that one too
I agree with all of these
I love this. I think it’s better to be picky and find the right guy than settle for someone not worthy. In the beginning of a relationship everyone is on their best behavior, so if it’s not good in the beginning.. it definitely won’t be later! #1, #2, #5 are so important to me. I expect to be treated like a lady too. Also, being nice to my friends/family and really taking a genuine interest in getting to know them is important to me too 
So is being thoughtful and asking how my day is going. I really believe he’s out there somewhere!
omg, i love your specifics!!! you literally read my mind!!! i was in a relationship from when i was 14-22 and seriously…all those things were missing. it’s amazing how it even lasted that long…drives me mad!
You absolutely do not need to “loosen your rules”! The guys who act appropriately and know how to treat a woman are out there. No reason to settle for anything less.
gracie you are seriously adorable. i am behind you one hundred percent on all of these things!
Haha I love this! And my biggest turn-off no doubt is cockiness. I get so irritated when guys think they are soooo cool, I just want to bring them back down to earth. I think confidence is a great quality in guys but there’s a line that doesn’t need to be crossed haha. I also think dudes with bad teeth is a turn off.
just found your blog and its totally great!
i would have completely agreed that a facebook msg is a turn off, but now i cant anymore. i met a friend of a friend who i briefly hit it off with before parting ways. he fb msg-ed me to get my contact info, which was a little apalling. however, i thought he might have something good going so i gave him a shot. hes the best boyfriend i’ve ever had - and i think that his lack of game has kept a lot of girls from getting the chance to date him!
i agree 100%. every girl should have these standards, because we all deserve our prince!
Love it. As always, said with style. Particularly agree with the go-getter requirement…I want a guy who can keep up with me!
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My Daddy always made a guy get out of his car and come to the door. I still stand by that. And no, if you want me to meet you at the bar or a friends party, this isn’t going anywhere. These were actually big reasons I married my hubby..he treated me like a lady and still does
Btw, just Stumbled onto your blog, LOVE, and thanks! You’ve got God, food, clothes, and written well…yay! Keep it up