(originally posted at A Foodie Stays Fit)
When I first started blogging a few months ago, I realized that I was having a more difficult time with the process than I thought I would, but I couldn’t pinpoint why that was. After doing some self-reflecting, I realized that I was simply trying way too hard to be like other bloggers.
Once I recognized my own health philosophy, writing style, and so on, blogging became much easier and much more fun. I also realized that nixing the comparisons was crucial not only when it comes to blogging, but also with every other area of my life. Enter: 10 Ways To Avoid Comparisons.
What I love most about this list is that it’s broad. These tips can apply to nearly every aspect of life, whether it’s blogging, your job/career, your appearance, etc. So whatever your lot in life may be, I hope that these suggestions will be of help to you!
1. Recognize Your Strengths.
While this is the most obvious thing you can and should do, it can often times be the most difficult. Reflect on your life and realize where it is that you excel. This can be as simple as recognizing that you’re a good dresser to realizing that you’re great at multi-tasking. I can almost promise that you have at least five strengths. Recognizing these traits is the first step in overcoming insecurities and comparing yourself to others.
2. Embrace Your Idiosyncrasies.
Believe it or not, it is often your idiosyncrasies that are your greatest strengths. For example, not everyone is an obsessive list-maker like myself. But instead of letting that bother me, I’ve realized to embrace it, and my 10 Ways posts are a prime result of that. You should embrace all of your idiosyncrasies – whether it’s a bump on your nose or your child-like personality. The key is to view these characteristics as strengths rather than weaknesses, and find ways to use them to your benefit.
3. Learn From Others
rather than becoming them. It’s so easy to look at other people’s lives, appreciate something they have, and then aim to be just like them. When I was a kid, I went from wanting to be Clarissa from “Clarissa Explains It All,” to my best friend in elementary school, to Britney Spears. Even though I was quite young, I can attest that trying to be like someone else is exhausting! And quite frankly, it’s a waste of time. So instead of trying to completely transform yourself, observe other people’s lives, and tailor what you’ve learned to fit who you are. It’s okay to dye your hair if you like how it looks on someone else, and it’s okay to start running if you see the joy it brings to another person. But the important thing is to stay true to yourself. Learning from other people is a positive thing – that’s one of the main benefits of relationships. But remain unique enough to let others learn from you as well.
4. Realize That There Is No Single “Right” Way.
Blonde or brunette? Corporate World or entrepreneurship? Vegetarian or meat-eater?! The answer to all of those? YES. You’d think that as we get older we’d realize that there is no one “right” way to do anything, but we still seem to get ourselves caught up in this idea. Like I said – it’s okay to learn from other’s lives, but in the end you have to do what is right for you. I would argue that this skewed view of reality is actually the number one reason people compare themselves to others; they think that they don’t measure up. But the bottom line is that there isn’t really anyone else to measure up to. Find what your definition of fulfillment/success/beauty/etc. is, and set your sights on that.
5. Reach Out To A Friend.
Sometimes realizing what your strengths are and what you want out of life isn’t exactly easy. I’m 23, and sometimes I still have trouble recognizing those things. That’s another place where the importance of relationships comes in. Often times our close friends and loved ones know us better than we know ourselves. I can almost guarantee that those people in your life will be able to pinpoint what your strengths are and encourage you in that. Furthermore, when you come to realize what it is that your friends love and value you for, you’ll probably have less of a desire to become like someone else.
6. Find Your Passion(s).
This is similar to numbers 1 and 2. Once again, it isn’t always easy to find what it is that you’re passionate about. But once you do, you’ll begin to find that you don’t really care what other people are doing! For example, I spent years of my life wishing that I was a runner. Even after trying, failing, and realizing that it’s just not something I enjoy, I still had something “missing.” I thought, well if I don’t have running, what do I have? And then I found Yoga and Pilates, and everything sort of clicked. Now I know what it feels like to truly love and enjoy a form of exercise, so it doesn’t bother me that I’m not a runner. Finding your passion, in my opinion, is also crucial when it comes to your career. You’re much more likely to excel and have a fulfilling life if you love the path you’ve taken, and don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.
7. Find Role Models
who share your passion(s). These role models can be friends, celebrities, other bloggers…whoever! I’m not saying to compare yourself to these people either, but it often feels good to know that you’re not alone. For example, one of my blogger role models is Heather from Heather Eats Almond Butter. For the most part, her health philosophy is quite aligned with my own. While I still appreciate and learn from other bloggers’ points of view, I find encouragement and a sense of relatability when I visit HEAB. Knowing that there are other people who share similar beliefs, values, and experiences as you makes it easier to avoid attempts to “fit in” elsewhere.
8. Encourage Others.
Believe it or not, even the people you’re comparing yourself to have insecurities. At some point, most people ask themselves questions like if they chose the right path in life, if they should’ve gotten married sooner, if they’d look better 10 pounds thinner, etc. Why? Because we are constantly surrounded by other people who have those differences. Making comparisons is sometimes unavoidable, so we all experience it at one time or another. I think that if we all actively encouraged others more, we wouldn’t feel this constant need to compare. Make compliments. Say “congratulations.” Tell others that they’re beautiful and amazing just the way they are! If we all practiced this, maybe this constant need to measure up would slowly disappear.
9. Stop Thinking Too Much.
I’m going to be blunt here. If you’re anything like me, you often find yourself simply reading into things way too much. All I can really say is this: You might think that everyone is judging you, but they’re probably not.
10. Realize That We’re All In The Same Boat.
Whenever I’m nervous about something like an audition or a job interview, my mom always tells me: “Remember that we all put our pants on one leg at a time.” In other words, we so often place certain people on pedestals thinking that they’re the “cream of the crop” or that their opinion matters more than our own. Not so! We ALL have something amazing to offer, and no one is better than anyone else. Your boss, Paris Hilton, and the most “popular” blogger is no more and no less important than you. It’s sometimes easy to forget that when it comes down to it, we’re all human. So let’s stop viewing ourselves as being better or worse than someone else based on insignificant things. I mean, let’s be honest, life would be way too boring if we were all carbon copies of each other! Let’s agree to stop wasting time making comparisons, and instead focus on celebrating our differences. K? K!
