7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
Gosh, these questions are getting pretty deep, huh? Well let’s see…
I can honestly say that yes – I’m doing what I believe in. Although my full-time job in real estate appraisals isn’t necessarily my passion, I’m motivated every day by the fact that I work for the family business, which also helps support the lives of other employees that I consider friends. And then of course there’s FreelyBe, which I’ve made no secret how much I believe in that as what I’m supposed to do as my career/calling in life (what I have made a bit of a secret over the past 6+ months is what exactly is going on with FreelyBe, which I’ll explain within the next month or so!).
A couple of years ago I wouldn’t have been able to say any of that. I guess the mid-twenties really is when one “finds herself”…
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I would take more time to get to know people.
I would stop caring so much about trivial things.
And I would take a heck of a lot more risks.
I like to think I’ve taken risks in life so far, but the truth is that I play it safe way more often than I would like. I’ve gotten a lot better with taking risks as I’ve gotten older, but there’s definitely still that little voice inside saying “just wait – there’s always tomorrow.” And I hate that.
Oh, and I’d also travel way more than I have by now. I’ve got to see the world, dangit.
Your turn! Answer #7 and/or #8?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
“Do what you love, do it in the most adventurous place, and make sure it helps other people.”
Well, that’s a simple one. The answer is FreelyBe, which is quickly coming to fruition. Not only is FreelyBe what I want to do professionally and also going to help people around the world, but I know it’s exactly what God has called me to do. So to me, it’s sort of a no-brainer that that will yield the most joy in my life. The fact that it will also allow me to work side by side with my best friend in my favorite place in the world is the icing on the cake. I am blessed!
…and I mean, if I had to pick a second choice, it wouldn’t hurt to have “job” of traveling around the world reviewing resorts and restaurants. I’m just saying.
Side note – stay tuned for the re-launch of the FreelyBe website and our overall business model, coming in June or July. I can’t wait to share with you all what we’ve had in the works over the past 5 months!
Your turn – what kind of work/career would bring you the most happiness?
Umm, yeah. Totally forgot about this fifty question challenge…after being four questions in.
Dumb blonde? Subconscious commitment-phobe? I’m not really sure what happened.
Anyway, here’s number five.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
Well this is quite the loaded question – one that I’m not going to attempt to sufficiently answer at what is now 7am. So I’m going to take the liberty of listing more than one thing I’d like to change…
- no more hunger
- no more disease
- no more hatred, abuse, violence, or injustice
- everyone to have the same freedom and opportunity to pursue whatever they wanted in life
- no more bugs, ew
- someone would finally invent teleportation
- cookies didn’t take so long to bake
- sweating didn’t exist
- sharks didn’t exist
- travelling was less expensive
- dogs didn’t smell or poop
- free wireless everywhere
- clowns didn’t exist
- (seriously…who actually likes clowns?)
- …but mostly just the first four bullets….
What are the top three things you’d change in the world?
Let’s be real – trying to make new friends can always be a little bit awkward. When we were in kindergarten it was perfectly acceptable to tap someone on the shoulder and say “hi, wanna play?” As adults, that statement would probably weird most people out, to say the least.
And, unfortunately, living in one of the most-populated and most competitive cities in the world doesn’t make this task much easier. From personal experience, though, I can attest that it is in fact possible to move to New York without knowing a single person and still finding ways to have a significant circle of friends within less than a year. Here’s how.
making friends in nyc.
1. at work.
As someone who works from home, I personally don’t have the opportunity to make friends at my job, but I have met a ton of great people through my friends’ jobs. Take as many opportunities as you can to get to know your co-workers – get lunch with them, go to happy hour, etc. Even if you don’t become BFFs with Frank in the cubicle next to you, you never know if you could become friends (or maybe even date?) someone from his own social circle.
2. through your hobbies.
Are you into exercising? Join a gym.
Have a passion for helping people? Start volunteering somewhere.
A foodie? Take a cooking class.
…etc., etc., etc.
New York is one of the easiest places in the world to find people with the same interests as your own, and there always ways to get involved with them. The important thing is to search out these options rather than waiting for them to just come to you.
3. when you’re just…out.
I’ve found that some of the best places to meet people in NYC are the ones that you just naturally frequent – the grocery store, the subway, your favorite cafe, bars/clubs, and so on. The key to this, though, is you have to be open and available to meeting people. Take your headphones off, put a smile on, and be willing to strike up a conversation if it presents itself.
Side note: for those of you who like the nightlife, baby, consider getting in touch with promoters. Some of them can be kind of lame, but others are pretty legit and do their job right. It’s not always easy to jump into the nightlife world if you don’t know anyone, so going out with promoters can be a good place to start.
4. through social media.
Welcome to 2012, where there are more ways than ever to get in touch with people. I suggest hitting up Facebook or Twitter and seeing which of your friends or acquaintances now live in New York. And if they don’t, they probably know someone who does. Don’t be shy about it – most people are more than happy to help…and everyone loves a good ol’ Direct Message every once in a while anyway.
5. at church.
When I moved to New York and didn’t have any friends, church was the first place I turned to. Not only was the best place to find people who share the same faith as me, but I knew it was also my best chance at forming real, sincere relationships. It can be easy to get lost and feel very alone in New York, so I knew I needed friends who I could hang out and have fun with, but also ones that support and genuinely care about me. Now I consider the friends I’ve met through church as family…people that I’m in it with for the long haul.
Speaking of church, if you’re in New York and looking for somewhere to go this Easter Sunday, you should definitely visit Liberty Church. I’ll be at the 7pm service, so let me know if you’d like to come and I’ll save you a seat
I’d say these tips can be used for anywhere you live, actually. Which do you agree with most? Anything to add?
Ever since I moved to New York, the majority of emails I get from readers are about life here – getting an apartment, a job, making friends, etc. While I’m definitely no expert (yet), I have picked up a thing or two that might be helpful, so I figured it was about time to do a series of posts answering your top questions about life in NYC. Let’s start with the number one topic I get asked about…
finding an apartment in nyc.
1. the budget.
It’s no secret that rent in NYC is some of the most expensive out there, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a multi-millionaire to make it work. You do, though, have to be an expert at managing your money rather than letting it manage you. Before even looking at apartments, figure out exactly how much you can realistically spend on rent each month/year (be sure to include utilities). In my opinion the best way to do this is to make an Excel sheet with all of your expenses – taking into account everything else you’ll be paying for and won’t be paying for (i.e. no more car payments, holla). If you’re a newbie to making a budget, here are some helpful budget forms. Lastly, know that unless your income is 30-40 the monthly rent, you’re almost definitely going to need a guarantor.
2. the roommate.
There are some definite pros and cons to having a roommate(s). The number one reason to have a roommate is to cut the cost of living (depending on how your little budget-making thing went), and if you decide to live with a friend, just having the company of someone you like is an obvious perk. My number one tip for living with a roommate is go over every single ground-rule before moving in together. Decide if you’ll be sharing things like food (which I highly don’t recommend), who will clean when, etc. It might seem a little bit awkward at first, but trust me when I say it’s better to have all of that out in the open rather than letting it turn into stupid arguments down the line.
3. the location.
For the most part, right now you can get the most bang for your buck in Manhattan by living in Upper East Side, Upper West Side, and Financial District. You can also find reasonable living in Hell’s Kitchen, East Village, Lower East Side, and Grammercy. Personally my ideal neighborhoods to live in (which also happen to be the more expensive and best transportation-wise) are Chelsea, Flatiron, West Village, and SoHo. I would suggest being open to all neighborhoods if it’s your first time living here, and the next time you move you can be a little more picky. You could also look into living in the other boroughs, but I know very little about them.
4. the search.
First of all, always be sure to bring someone with you for safety reasons. Secondly, I would definitely try to avoid using a broker because their fees are ridiculous. If you do end up working with a broker who “insists” there are no fees, don’t be afraid to grill them to make sure that they’re not giving you the runaround…and definitely don’t sign anything without reading the fine print. With that being said, here are some resources to search for apartments:
- Craigslist. Definitely a hit or miss. You can find a great deal but also get really ripped off via Craigslist. Also – just because you choose the “for rent by owner/no-fee brokers” option, brokers with a fee still find a way to sneak on there, so be sure to still question them.
- StreetEasy. Better search options than Craigslist and more realistic prices.
- directly through management companies. Here’s a pretty decent database of NYC management companies.
- walk ins. Take a day to walk around the neighborhoods you’re interested in and just go in buildings and ask about vacancies. Most of the time they’ll be able to direct you to the management company or landlord.
- social media. You never know which of your friends on Facebook or Twitter know someone who lives in New York, so it wouldn’t hurt to put the word out there that you’re looking for living options.
The bottom line: do your homework, but also don’t be afraid to as too many questions. The first time I lived in New York a few years ago, I did just about everything wrong. I ended up getting taken advantage of and paying way too much. Get as much information as possible from as many resources as possible so you can actually know what you’re talking about when working with the apartment brokers and owners.
If you have any more questions feel free to leave them in comments section! And good luck, you little future New Yorker, you.
What else would you like to see me answer about life in New York?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Talking the talk but not walking the walk is one of the things I fear doing the most…especially in the age of social media where what you say can essentially reach millions of people. I’m one of those freaks who has to verbally process just about everything, so you can see why this might be an issue for me.
If I’m being completely honest, I don’t know the answer to this. While I really hope I’ll have done more than I said, the reality is that I’m also a blogger – which, clearly is a lot more saying than doing. At the same time, though, my plans for the future look a lot different than the career/life I’m leading right now, so I guess we’ll see…
Moral of the story: be careful what you tweet.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
My answer to this question boils down to three things:
…because of money.
…because of others’ expectations of us.
…because of our own expectations of ourselves.
There’s not much of a way around the first one. Although I strongly believe it’s possible to make a decent living by doing what you love (I mean, that’s what I’m working towards right now), there are so many circumstances that can come in the way of that – circumstances that are different for everyone. It would be ignorant to deny that fact.
As for the second two, my answer is pretty simple.
Easier said than done? Maybe. But it’s worth the risk, if you ask me.
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what you love. Because when you do what you love, the world will need it.”
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
I think that this quote I came up with last year pretty much sums up my answer.
I didn’t start living by this mantra until about two years ago. In fact, before that, my life was quite the opposite. I don’t even think I’d want to have been friends with the old me. It’s not there was anything “wrong” with me, but I also didn’t have much going for me either. Sure – I got good grades, graduated college, and had a comfortable life. But I also didn’t have a passionate life, and I played it safe in every possible way. I lacked drive and confidence, which held me back more than I like to admit.
The good news, though, is that I broke free from that and – for the first time in my life – can say that I’m truly happy, passionate, and beyond excited for the future. If it weren’t for some serious risks and trial and error along the way, though, I wouldn’t even be close to where I am today.
A few months ago Emily answered a series of fifty questions on her blog, and the idea of doing the same has been in the back of my mind ever since. I avoided the little "project” because I try to keep things on GML fun and, well…slightly mindless, so to speak. But, who says I can’t take these semi-serious questions and give them a little bit of my own twist?
So that’s what I’ll be doing.
I’ll be taking each question and post as it comes – some might be serious, others not at all, and everything/anything in between. In other words, I have no idea where the heck I’m going with this, so join me for the train wreck ride, will you? Starting with…
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Well shoot. This is already off to a “I really don’t feel like thinking this much” start.
(five minutes later)
Honestly, I’d say I’d be exactly the ripe age of 24 that I am.
I’d say that my maturity (and lack-thereof) and passions in life are congruent with being 24. While some people my age are already married with kids…and others are still living in their parents’ basement playing video games and smoking weed…I like to think that I’m in a pretty appropriate place for this stage of my life (not that there’s anything wrong with those other “life paths”).
If I had to describe my mentality and life right now it would be work hard, play hard…and I don’t think I’d have it any other way.
Your turn – how old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
When it comes to guys and dating, I generally refuse to view things in black and white terms. Everyone is different and every relationship is different, so blanket assumptions and judgments just don’t fly 99% of the time.
…but then there’s the remaining one percent – the “make-it-or-break its,” if you will.
There are the HOT moments. The ones that remind us why we love the opposite sex oh so much.
And then, unfortunately there are the cringe-worthy moments that we’ve all experienced but wish we didn’t have to. The NOT moments.
So for the sake of reminiscing…let’s play a little game of hot or not, shall we?
HOT: greeting me by kissing my hand.
NOT: greeting me by stealing the lollipop out of my mouth. And then putting it in yours.
HOT: guys wearing beanies, even when it’s not cold out.
NOT: guys wearing sunglasses when it’s dark out.
HOT: public displays of affection.
NOT: public displays of douchery.
HOT: kindly offering to buy my friends and I drinks.
NOT: then saying, “just so you know, I’m not buying any more after this.”
HOT: not taking yourself seriously.
NOT: not taking anything seriously.
HOT: introducing me to your friends.
NOT: when your friend openly admits he’s going to cheat on his girlfriend tonight.
HOT: working hard, playing hard.
NOT: playing harder than you work.
….don’t worry fellas, still love you lots
Your turn – give me one of your hot or nots!